B 

B8l^b  I 
1900 


Extracts  From  The 


} 

| 

Journal 


DAVID  BRA1NERD 

lit. 

Missionary  to  the  Indians 

¥ 

) 

1 

Selected  by  WM.  R.  NEWELL 

I 

I 

Except  a corn  of  wheat  fall  into  the  ground  and 
die, it  abideth  alone;  but  if  it  die  it  beareth  much  fruit. 

John  xii.  24 


1 

The  Moody  Bible  Institute,  Chicago 
1900 


DAVID  BRAINERD 

Missionary  to  the  Indians 

Born  April  20,  1718,  at  Haddam,  Connecticut.  Awakened 
at  seven  and  again  at  thirteen,  but  under  legal 
bondage  till  twenty-one  years  of  age.  Found 
salvation  in  Christ  in  1739. 

Attended  Yale  College,  1739—1742.  Began  to  preach  the 
gospel  in  1742.  Labored  with  marvellous  devotion 
and  success  among  the  Indians  of  New  England 
New  Jersey  and  Pennsylvania,  1743  to  1747. 

Fell  asleep  at  the  house  of  Jonathan  Edwards,  North- 
ampton, Massachusetts,  October  9th,  1747, 
in  the  thirtieth  year  of  his  age. 


& 

£>\A  VV 

H£>o 

This  booklet  is  issued  because  it  will  stir 
those  who  read  it  to  holiness,  devotion  and 
prayer.  This  has  been  the  effect  of  the  Life  of 
Brainerd  ever  since  it  was  first  prepared  by 
Jonathan  Edwards  in  1749. 

It  will  arouse  to  holiness;  for  many  will  be 
ready  to  say,  when  they  have  read  Brainerd’s 
Diary:  “If  such  longings  for  deliverance  from 
sin  and  conformity  to  the  image  of  Christ  as 
< this  man  had  constitute  holiness,  then  I know 
little  or  nothing  about  it.” 

It  will  stimulate  to  devotion ; for  there  is  a 
singular  power  in  the  example  of  a consecrated 
servant  of  God,  to  draw  us  after  him  into  like 
consecrated  service, — a power  stronger  than 
that  of  mere  teaching  or  exhortation.  Thus 
Paul  said  to  Timothy:  “I  suffer  hardship  for 
the  Gospel’s  sake.  Suffer  hardship  with  me.” 
And  Timothy  did. 

But,  above  all,  this  Journal  of  Brainerd’s 
stirs  up  the  heart  of  the  Christian  reader  to  lay 
hold  on  God  in  prayer.  Prayer  is  the  very 
soul  of  this  devoted  man’s  life— as  it  is  of  the 
life  of  every  real  man  of  God.  Nothing  so 
effectually  calls  us  to  prayer  as  the  example  of 
prayer  in  another.  “It  came  to  pass,  as  He  was 
praying  in  a certain  place,  that  when  He  ceased, 
one  of  His  disciples  said  unto  Him,  “Lord, 
teach  us  to  pray.” 

It  is  prayer  that  is  needed  just  now  more 

973204 


than  all  else;  and,  I had  almost  said,  more  than 
ever  before,  among  Christians.  We  are  fallen 
upon  evil  days.  Almost  everywhere  spiritual 
deadness  prevails.  Our  generation  has  not 
seen  a great  awakening.  “I  believe  in  the 
Holy  Ghost’  ’ is  in  our  creeds  and  on  our 
tongues,  but  is  it  in  the  heart  of  the  average 
Christian  today? 

But  here  is  a lone,  frail  man,  with  a love  for 
the  lost  and  a passion  of  prayer.  And  there 
comes  in  answer  to  him  a very  Pentecostal 
working  of  the  Holy  Ghost;  and  that  among 
the  most  hopeless  heathen  ! 

May  God  Himself  direct  our  hearts  into  the 
lessons  of  these  pages!  “Be  ye  imitators  to- 
gether of  me,”  writes  our  great  apostle  ; “and 
mark  them  that  so  walk , even  as  ye  have  us  for 
an  ensample Brainerd  is  one  of  Paul’s  com- 
pany : mark  and  imitate  him. 


In  making  these  selections  we  have  used 
Brainerd’s  Journal  as  it  appears  in  Edwards’ 
Collected  Works.  Perhaps  the  best  modern 
arrangement  of  Brainerd’s  life  is  that  by  J.  M. 
Sherwood,  published  by  Funk*&  Wagnalls, 
New  York. 


Selections 


FROM 


THE  JOURNAL 

OF 

David  Brainerd 

¥ 


April  6 , 1742.  I walked  out  this  morning 
to  the  same  place  where  I was  last  night.  I 
began  to  find  it  sweet  to  pray;  and  could  think 
of  undergoing  the  greatest  sufferings  in  the 
cause  of  Christ,  with  pleasure  ; and  found  my- 
self willing,  if  God  should  so  order  it,  to  suffer 
banishment  from  my  native  land,  among  the 
heathen,  that  I might  do  something  for  their 
salvation,  in  distresses  and  deaths  of  any  kind. 
Then  God  gave  me  to  wrestle  earnestly  for 
others,  for  the  kingdom  of  Christ  in  the  world, 
and  for  dear  Christian  friends.  I felt  weaned 
from  the  world,  and  from  my  own  reputation 
amongst  men,  willing  to  be  despised , and  to  be 
a gazing  stock  for  the  world  to  behold.  It  is 
impossible  for  me  to  express  how  I then  felt ; 
I had  not  much  joy,  but  some  sense  of  the  nia- 


2 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


jesty  of  God,  which  made  me  as  it  were  tremble. 
I saw  myself  mean  and  vile,  which  made  me 
more  willing  that  God  should  do  what  He 
would  with  me;  it  was  all  infinitely  reasonable. 

April  8.  Had  raised  hopes  to-day  respect- 
ing the  heathen.  Oh  that  God  would  bring  in 
great  numbers  of  them  to  Jesus  Christ!  I can- 
not but  hope  that  I shall  see  that  glorious  day. 

April  75.  My  desires  apparently  centered 
in  God ; and  I found  a sensible  attraction  of 
soul  after  Him  sundry  times  to-day. 

I know  that  I long  for  God,  and  conformity 
to  His  will,  in  inward  purity  and  holiness,  ten 
thousand  times  more  than  for  anything  here 
below. 

Lord's  Day  April  18 . I retired  early  this 
morning  into  the  woods  for  prayer;  had  the  as- 
sistance of  God’s  Spirit,  and  faith  in  exercise  ; 
and  was  enabled  to  plead  with  fervency  for  the 
advancement  of  Christ’s  kingdom  in  the  world, 
and  to  intercede  for  dear,  absent  friends.  At 
noon,  God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  with  Him,  and 
to  feel,  as  I trust,  the  power  of  divine  love,  in 
prayer.  At  night  I saw  myself  infinitely  in- 
debted to  God,  and  had  a view  of  my  failure  in 
duty. 

April  19.  I set  apart  this  day  for  fasting 
and  prayer  to  God  for  His  grace  ; especially  to 
prepare  me  for  the  work  of  the  ministry ; to 
give  me  divine  aid  and  direction,  in  my  pre- 
parations for  that  great  work  ; and  in  His  own 
time  to  send  me  into  his  harvest.  Accordingly, 
in  the  morning,  I endeavored  to  plead  for  the 
divine  presence  for  the  day,  and  not  without 
some  life.  In  the  forenoon,  I felt  the  power  of 


brainerd’s  JOURNAL.  3 

intercession  for  precious,  immortal  souls  ; for 
the  advancement  of  the  kingdom  of  my  dear 
Lord  and  Saviour  in  the  world  ; and,  withal,  a 
most  sweet  resignation,  and  even  consolation 
and  joy,  in  the  thought  of  suffering  hardships, 
distresses,  and  even  death  itself,  in  the  pro- 
motion of  it ; and  had  peculiar  enlargement  in 
pleading  for  the  enlightening  and  conversion 
of  the  poor  heathen.  In  the  afternoon,  God 
was  with  me  of  a truth.  Oh,  it  was  blessed 
company  indeed  ! God  enabled  me  to  so  ago- 
nize in  prayer,  that  I was  quite  wet  with  perspir- 
ation, though  in  the  shade,  and  the  cool  wind. 
My  soul  was  drawn  out  very  much  from  the 
world,  for  multitudes  of  souls.  I think  I had 
more  enlargement  for  sinners,  than  for  the 
children  of  God,  though  I felt  as  if  I could 
spend  my  life  in  cries  for  both.  I enjoyed 
great  sweetness  in  communion  with  my  dear 
Saviour.  I think  I never  in  iny  life  felt  such 
an  entire  weanedness  from  this  world  and  so 
much  resigned  to  God  in  everything.  Oh  that 
I may  always  live  to  and  upon  my  blessed  God! 
Amen,  Amen. 

April  21.  Felt  much  calmness  and  resig- 
nation ; and  God  enabled  me  to  wrestle  for 
numbers  of  souls,  and  had  much  fervency  in 
the  sweet  duty  of  intercession.  I enjoy  of 
late  more  sweetness  in  intercession  for  others, 
than  in  any  other  part  of  prayer.  My  blessed 
Lord  really  let  me  come  near  to  Him  and  plead 
with  Him. 

Lord's  Day,  April  25.  This  morning  I 
spent  about  two  hours  in  secret  duties,  and  was 
enabled,  more  than  ordinarily,  to  agonize  for 


4 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


immortal  souls.  Though  it  was  early  in  the 
morning,  and  the  sun  scarcely  shined  at  all, 
yet  my  body  was  quite  wet  with  sweat.  I felt 
much  pressed  now,  as  frequently  of  late,  to 
plead  for  the  meekness  and  calmness  of  the 
Lamb  of  God  in  my  soul ; and  through  divine 
goodness,  felt  much  of  it  this  morning.  Oh  it  is 
a sweet  disposition,  heartily  to  forgive  all  in- 
juries done  us  ; to  wish  our  greatest  enemies 
as  well,  as  we  do  our  own  souls  ! Blessed  Jesus, 
may  I be  daily  more  and  more  conformed  to 
Thee  ! At  night,  I was  exceedingly  melted  with 
divine  love,  and  had  some  feeling  sense  of  the 
blessedness  of  the  upper  world.  Those  words 
hung  upon  me  with  much  divine  sweetness, 
Psal.  lxxxiv.  7.  They  go  from  strength  to 
strength , every  one  of  them  in  Zion  appear eth 
before  God.  Oh  the  near  access  that  God  some- 
times gives  us  in  our  address  to  Him  ! 

.April  2j,  I retired  pretty  early  for  secret 
devotions  ; and  in  prayer  God  was  pleased  to 
pour  such  ineffable  comforts  into  my  soul,  that 
I could  do  nothing  for  some  time  but  say  over 
over  and  over,  ‘ O my  sweet  Saviour  ! O my 
sweet  Saviour ! whom  have  I in  heaven  but 
Thee?  and  there  is  none  upon  earth  that  I de- 
sire beside  Thee.  ’ If  I had  had  a thousand  lives, 
my  soul  would  gladly  have  laid  them  all  down 
at  once,  to  have  been  with  Christ.  My  soul 
never  enjoyed  so  much  of  heaven  before  ; it 
was  the  most  refined  and  most  spiritual  season 
of  communion  with  God  I ever  yet  felt.  I 
never  felt  so  great  a degree  of  resignation  in 
my  life. 

April  28.  I withdrew  to  my  usual  place 


5 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL. 

of  retirement,  in  great  peace  and  tranquillity, 
spent  about  two  hours  in  secret  duties,  and  felt 
much  as  I did  yesterday  morning,  only  weaker, 
and  more  overcome.  I seemed  to  depend 
wholly  on  my  dear  Lord  ; wholly  weaned  from 
all  other  dependencies.  I knew  not  what  to  say 
to  my  God,  but  could  only  lean  on  His  bosom , 
as  it  were,  and  breathe  out  my  desires  after  a per- 
fect conformity  to  Him  in  all  things.  Thirsting 
desires,  and  insatiable  longings,  possessed  my 
soul  after  perfect  holiness . God  was  so  precious 
to  my  soul,  that  the  world,  with  all  its  enjoy- 
ments, was  infinitely  vile.  I had  no  more  value 
for  the  favor  of  men,  than  for  pebbles.  The 
L/ORD  was  my  aix,  and  that  He  over- ruled  all 
greatly  delighted  me.  I think  that  my  faith 
and  dependence  on  God  scarce  ever  rose  so 
high.  I saw  Him  such  a fountain  of  goodness, 
that  it  seemed  impossible  I should  distrust  Him 
again,  or  be  in  any  way  anxious  about  anything 
that  should  happen  to  me.  I now  enjoyed 
great  sweetness  in  praying  for  absent  friends, 
and  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ’s  kingdom 
in  the  world. 

May  /.  I was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  with 
fervency  for  ministerial  qualifications,  that 
He  would  appear  for  the  advancement  of  His 
own  kingdom,  and  that  He  would  bring  in  the 
heathen.  Had  much  assistance  in  my  studies. 
This  has  been  a profitable  week  to  me  ; I have 
enjoyed  many  communications  of  the  blessed 
Spirit  in  my  soul. 

June  8.  I enjoyed  one  sweet  and  precious 
season  this  day  ; I never  felt  it  so  sweet  to  be 
nothing , and  less  than  nothing,  and  to  be  ac- 
counted frothing.  ’ ’ 


6 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


June  12.  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  this 
morning,  and  enjoyed  much  sweetness.  Felt 
insatiable  longings  after  God  much  of  the  day. 
I wondered  how  poor  souls  live,  that  have 
no  God.  The  world,  with  all  its  enjoyments, 
quite  vanished.  I see  myself  very  helpless  : 
but  I have  a blessed  God  to  go  to.  I longed 
exceedingly  to  be  dissolved , and  to  be  with 
Christ , to  behold  His  glory . Oh,  my  weak  weary 
soul  longs  to  arrive  at  my  Father's  house  ! 

Lord' s Day,  June  /j.  Felt  somewhat  calm 
and  resigned  in  the  public  worship  : at  the 
sacrament  saw  myself  very  vile  and  worthless. 
Oh  that  I may  always  lie  low  in  the  dust. 
My  soul  seemed  steadily  to  go  forth  after  God, 
in  longing  desire  to  live  upon  Him. 

June  14.  Felt  somewhat  of  the  sweetness 
of  communion  with  God,  and  the  constraining 
force  of  His  love  ; how  admirably  it  captivates 
the  soul,  and  makes  all  the  desires  and  affec- 
tions to  centre  in  God  ! — I set  apart  this  day  for 
secret  fasting  and  prayer,  to  entreat  God  to 
direct  and  bless  me  with  regard  to  the  great 
work  which  I have  in  view,  of  preaching  the 
gospel— and  that  the  Ford  would  return  to  me, 
and  show  me  the  light  of  His  countenance . Had 
little  life  and  power  in  the  forenoon.  Near  the 
middle  of  the  afternoon,  God  enabled  me  to 
wrestle  ardently  in  intercession  for  my  friends. 
But  just  at  night  the  Ford  visited  me  marvel- 
lously in  prayer.  I think  my  soul  never  was 
in  such  an  agony  before.  I felt  no  restraint ; 
for  the  treasures  of  divine  grace  were  opened  to 
me.  I wrestled  for  absent  friends,  for  the  in- 
gathering of  souls,  for  multitudes  of  poor  souls, 


brainerd’s  JOURNAE. 


7 


and  for  many  that  I thought  were  the  children 
of  God,  personally , in  many  distant  places.  I 
was  in  such  an  agony  from  sun  half  an  hour 
high,  till  near  dark,  that  I was  all  over  wet 
with  sweat : but  yet  it  seemed  to  me  that  I had 
wasted  away  the  day,  and  had  done  nothing. 
Oh,  my  dear  Saviour  did  sweat  blood  for  poor 
souls.  I longed  for  more  compassion  to- 
wards them.  Felt  still  in  a sweet  frame,  under 
a sense  of  divine  love  and  grace  ; and  went  to 
bed  in  such  a frame,  with  my  heart  set  on 
God. 

June  13.  Had  the  most  ardent  longings 
after  God,  which  I ever  felt  in  my  life.  At 
noon,  in  my  secret  retirement,  I could  do 
nothing  but  tell  my  dear  Lord,  in  a sweet  calm, 
that  he  knew  I desired  nothing  but  Himself, 
nothing  but  holiness ; that  He  had  given  me 
these  desires,  and  He  only  could  give  me  the 
thing  desired.  I never  seemed  to  be  so  un- 
hinged from  myself,  and  to  be  so  wholly  de- 
voted to  God.  My  heart  was  swallowed  up  in 
God  most  of  the  day.  In  the  evening  I had 
such  a view  of  the  soul  being  as  it  were  en- 
larged, to  contain  more  holiness,  that  it  seemed 
ready  to  separate  from  my  body.  I then  wrest- 
led in  an  agony  for  divine  blessings  ; had  my 
heart  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  some  Christian 
friends,  beyond  what  I ever  had  before.  I feel 
differently  now  from  what  I ever  did  under  any 
enjoyments  before  ; more  engaged  to  live  to 
God  for  ever,  and  less  pleased  with  my  own 
frames. 

Aug.  23 . Had  a sweet  season  in  secret 
prayer  : the  Lord  drew  near  to  my  soul,  and 


8 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


filled  me  with  peace  and  divine  consolation. 
Oh,  my  soul  tasted  the  sweetness  of  the  upper 
world  ; and  was  drawn  out  in  prayer  for  the 
world,  that  it  might  come  home  to  Christ ! 
Had  much  comfort  in  the  thoughts  and  hopes 
of  the  ingathering  of  the  heathen;  was  greatly 
assisted  in  intercession  for  Christian  friends. 

Aug.  25.  In  family  prayer,  God  helped  me 
to  climb  up  near  Him,  so  that  I scarce  ever  got 
nearer. 

Aug.  jo.  Felt  somewhat  comfortably  in 
the  morning ; conversed  sweetly  with  some 
friends  ; was  in  a serious  composed  frame  ; and 
prayed  at  a certain  house  with  some  degree  of 
sweetness.  Afterwards,  at  another  house, 
prayed  privately  with  a dear  Christian  friend 
or  two  ; and,  I think  I scarce  ever  launched 
so  far  into  the  eternal  world  as  then.  I got  so 
far  out  on  the  broad  ocean,  that  my  soul  with 
joy  triumphed  over  all  the  evils  on  the  shores 
of  mortality.  I think  that  time,  and  all  its  gay 
amusements  and  cruel  disappointments,  never 
appeared  so  inconsiderable  to  me  before.  I 
was  in  a sweet  frame  ; I saw  myself  nothing, 
and  my  soul  reached  after  God  with  intense 
desire.  Oh,  I saw  what  I owed  to  God,  in  such 
a manner,  as  I scarce  ever  did  ! I knew  that  I 
had  never  lived  a moment  to  Him  as  I should 
do;  indeed,  it  appeared  to  me,  that  I had  never 
done  anything  in  Christianity;  my  soul  longed 
with  a vehement  desire  to  live  to  God. — In  the 
evening,  sung  and  prayed  with  a number  of 
Christians ; felt  the  powers  of  the  world  to 
come  in  my  soul,  in  prayer.  Afterwardg  prayed 
again  privately,* with  a dear  Christian  or  two, 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL,.  9 

and  found  the  presence  of  God;  was  somewhat 
humbled  in  my  secret  retirement  : felt  my  in- 
gratitude, because  I was  not  wholly  swallowed 
up  in  God. 

Oct.  ig.  This  morning,  and  last  night,  I 
felt  a sweet  longing  in  my  soul  after  holiness. 
My  soul  seemed  so  to  reach  and  stretch  towards 
the  mark  of  perfect  sanctity,  that  it  was  ready 
to  break  with  longings. 

Nov.  2 5.  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  and 
supplication  ; was  examined  by  some  gentle- 
men, of  my  Christian  experiences,  and  my  ac- 
quaintance with  divinity,  and  some  other 
studies,  in  order  to  my  improvement  in  that 
important  affair  of  evangelizing  the  heathen. 

Dec.  16.  Rode  down  to  Derby  ; and  had 
some  sweet  thoughts  on  the  road  : especially 
011  the  essence  of  our  salvation  by  Christ,  from 
these  words,  Thou  shalt  call  his  name  Jesus , &c. 

Dec.  17.  Spent  much  time  in  sweet  con- 
versation on  spiritual  things  with  dear  Mr. 
Humphreys.  Rode  to  Ripton  ; spent  some 
time  in  prayer  with  dear  Christian  friends. 

Dec.  18.  Spent  much  time  in  prayer  in 
the  woods;  and  seemed  raised  above  the  things 
in  the  world  : my  soul  was  strong  in  the  Lord 
of  hosts  ; but  was  sensible  of  great  barrenness. 

Lord's  Day , Dec.  26.  Felt  much  sweetness 
and  tenderness  in  prayer;  especially  did  my 
whole  soul  seem  to  love  my  worst  enemies,  and 
was  enabled  to  pray  for  those  that  are  strangers 
and  enemies  to  God,  with  a great  degree  of 
softness  and  pathetic  fervour.  In  the  evening, 
rode  from  New  Haven  to  Branford,  after  I had 
kneeled  down  and  prayed  with  a number  of 


IO  SELECTIONS  FROM 

dear  Christian  friends  in  a very  retired  place 
in  the  woods,  and  so  parted. 

Lord's  Day , Feb . /j,  1743.  At  noon  was 
under  a great  degree  of  discouragement ; knew 
not  how  it  was  possible  for  me  to  preach  in  the 
afternoon.  I was  ready  to  give  up  all  for  gone; 
but  God  was  pleased  to  assist  me  in  some  meas- 
ure. In  the  evening  my  heart  was  sweetly 
drawn  out  after  God,  and  de'voted  to  Him. 

Lord's  Day , March  13.  At  noon,  I thought 
it  impossible  for  me  to  preach,  by  reason  of 
bodily  weakness,  and  inward  deadness.  In  the 
first  prayer,  I could  hardly  stand  ; but  in  the 
sermon  God  strengthened  me,  so  that  I spake 
near  an  hour  and  a half  with  sweet  freedom, 
clearness,  and  some  tender  power,  from  Gen. 
v.  24:  And  Enoch  walked  with  God . 

At  this  point  Hr.  Brainerd’s  Diary  be= 
gins  to  record  his  direct  labors  among  the 
Indians,  toward  which  he  had  been  so 
long  and  eagerly  looking.  The  Indians  re= 
ceived  him  kindly,  and  began  attentively 
to  attend  to  his  instructions. 

April  1.  I rode  to  Kaunaumeek,  near  twenty 
miles  from  Stockbridge,  where  the  Indians  live 
with  whom  I am  concerned,  and  there  lodged 
on  a little  heap  of  straw.  I was  greatly  exer- 
cised with  inward  trials  and  distresses  all  day; 
and  in  the  evening,  my  heart  was  sunk,  and  I 
seemed  to  have  no  God  to  go  to.  Oh  that  God 
would  help  me! 

April  7.  Appeared  to  myself  exceedingly 
ignorant,  weak,  helpless,  unworthy,  and  alto- 
gether unequal  to  my  work.  It  seemed  to  me, 


brainerd’s  journal.  ii 

that  I should  never  do  any  service,  or  have  any 
success  among  the  Indians.  Towards  night,  I 
had  the  exercise  of  faith  in  prayer,  and  some 
assistance  in  writing.  Oh  that  God  would  keep 
me  near  Him. 

Lord's  Day,  April  10.  Rose  early  in  the 
morning,  and  walked  out  and  spent  a consider- 
able time  in  the  woods,  in  prayer  and  medi- 
tation. Preached  to  the  Indians,  both  fore- 
noon and  afternoon.  They  behaved  soberly  in 
general:  two  or  three  in  particular  appeared 
under  some  religious  concern,  with  whom  I 
discoursed  privately;  and  one  told  me,  “that 
her  heart  had  cried,  ever  since  she  had  heard 
me  preach  first.’ ’ 

April  20.  Set  apart  this  day  for  fasting  and 
prayer,  to  bow  my  soul  before  God  for  the 
bestowment  of  divine  grace;  especially  that  all 
my  spiritual  afflictions,  and  inward  distresses, 
might  be  sanctified  to  my  soul.  And  endea- 
vored also  to  remember  the  goodness  of  God  to 
me  the  year  past,  this  day  being  my  birthday. 
Having  obtained  help  of  God,  I have  hitherto 
lived,  and  am  now  arrived  at  the  age  of  twenty- 
five  years.  My  soul  was  pained  to  think  of  my 
barrenness  and  deadness;  that  I have  lived  so 
little  to  the  glory  of  the  eternal  God.  I spent 
the  day  in  the  woods  alone,  and  there  poured 
out  my  complaint  to  God.  Oh  that  God  would 
enable  me  to  live  to  His  glory  for  the  future! 

April  jo.  The  presence  of  God  is  what  I 
want.  I live  in  the  most  lonely  melancholy 
desert,  about  eighteen  miles  from  Albany;  for  it 
was  not  thought  best  that  I should  go  to 
Delaware  River.  I board  with  a poor  Scotch- 


12  SELECTIONS  FROM 

man  ; his  wife  can  talk  scarce  any  English. 
My  diet  consists  mostly  of  hasty  pudding, 
boiled  corn,  and  bread  baked  in  the  ashes,  and 
sometimes  a little  meat  and  butter.  My  lodg- 
ing is  a little  heap  of  straw,  laid  upon  some 
boards,  a little  way  from  the  ground  ; for  it  is 
a log  room,  without  any  floor,  that  I lodge  in. 
My  zvork  is  exceedingly  hard  and  difficult  ; I 
travel  on  foot  a mile  and  a half,  the  worst  of 
ways,  almost  daily,  and  back  again  ; for  I live 
so  far  from  my  Indians.  I have  not  seen  an 
English  person  in  this  month.  These,  and 
many  other  circumstances,  equally  uncomfort- 
able, attend  me.  The  Lord  grant  that  I may 
learn  to  “ endure  hardness,  as  a good  soldier 
of  Jesus  Christ!”  As  to  my  success  here  I, 
cannot  say  much  as  yet.  The  Indians  seem 
generally  kind  and  well  disposed  towards  me, 
are  mostly  very  attentive  to  my  instructions, 
and  seem  willing  to  be  taught  further.  Two 
or  three,  I hope,  are  under  some  convictions ; 
but  there  seems  to  be  little  of  the  special  work- 
ings of  the  divine  Spirit  among  them  yet ; 
which  gives  me  many  a heart-sinking  hour. 
Sometimes  I hope  that  God  has  abundant  bless- 
ings in  store  for  them  and  me ; but  at  other 
times  I am  overwhelmed  with  distress. 

May  18.  My  circumstances  are  such  that 
I have  no  comfort  of  any  kind,  but  what  I 
have  in  God.  I have  no  fellow-Christian  to 
whom  I may  unbosom  myself,  or  lay  open  my 
spiritual  sorrows ; with  whom  I may  take 
sweet  counsel  in  conversation  about  heavenly 
things,  and  join  in  social  prayer.  The  Indians 
have  no  land  to  live  on  but  what  the  Dutch 


brainkrd’s  journal.  13 

lay  claim  to  ; and  these  threaten  to  drive  them 
off.  They  have  no  regard  to  the  souls  of  the 
poor  Indians  ; and  by  what  I can  learn,  they 
hate  me  because  I came  to  preach  to  them. 

Aug.  15.  Spent  most  of  the  day  in  labor, 
to  procure  something  to  keep  my  horse  on  in 
the  winter.  Enjoyed  not  much  sweetness  in 
the  morning  ; was  very  weak  in  body  through 
the  day ; and  thought  that  this  frail  body 
would  soon  drop  into  the  dust ; and  had  some 
very  realizing  apprehensions  of  a speedy  en- 
trance into  another  world.  In  this  weak  state 
of  body,  I was  not  a little  distressed  for  want  of 
suitable  food.  I had  no  bread,  nor  could  I 
get  any.  I am  forced  to  go  or  send  ten  or  fif- 
teen miles  for  all  the  bread  I eat ; and  some- 
times  it  is  mouldy  and  sour  before  I eat  it,  if  I 
get  any  considerable  quantity.  And  then  again 
I have  none  for  some  days  together,  for  want 
of  an  opportunity  to  send  for  it,  and  cannot 
find  my  horse  in  the  woods  to  go  myself ; and 
this  was  my  case  today;  but  through  divine 
goodness  I had  some  Indian  meal , of  which  I 
made  little  cakes,  and  fried  them.  Yet  I felt 
contented  with  my  circumstances,  and  sweetly 
resigned  to  God.  In  prayer  I enjoyed  great 
freedom  ; and  blessed  God  as  much  for  my 
present  circumstances,  as  if  I had  been  a king; 
and  thought  that  I found  a disposition  to  be 
contented  in  any  circumstances.  Blessed  be  God! 

Aug.  22.  At  night,  I spent  some  time  in 
instructing  my  poor  people.  Oh  that  God 
would  pity  their  souls  ! 

Lord's  Day , Aug . 28.  Was  much 

perplexed  with  some  irreligious  Dutchmen. 


14 


selections  from 


All  their  discourse  turned  upon  the  things  of 
the  world  ; which  was  no  small  exercise  to  my 
mind.  O what  a hell  it  would  be  to  spend  an 
eternity  with  such  men  ! Well  might  David 
say,  “ I beheld  the  transgressors,  and  was 
grieved.”  But  adored  be  God,  heaven  is  a 
place  into  which  no  unclean  thing  enters.  O 
I long  for  the  holiness  of  that  world  ! Lord 
prepare  me  for  it. 

Sept . 79.  In  the  afternoon,  rode  to  Bethle- 
hem, and  there  preached.  Had  some  measure 
of  assistance,  both  in  prayer  and  preaching.  I 
felt  serious,  kind,  and  tender  towards  all  man- 
kind, and  longed  that  holiness  might  flourish 
more  on  earth. 

Sept.  20.  Had  thoughts  of  going  forward 
on  my  return  to  my  Indians  ; but  towards 
night  was  taken  with  a hard  pain  in  my  teeth, 
and  shivering  cold ; and  could  not  possibly 
recover  a comfortable  degree  of  warmth  the 
whole  night  following.  I continued  very  full 
of  pain  all  night ; and  in  the  morning  had  a 
very  hard  fever,  and  pains  almost  over  my 
whole  body.  I had  a sense  of  the  divine  good- 
ness in  appointing  this  to  be  the  place  of  my 
sickness,  among  my  friends,  who  were  very 
kind  to  me.  I should  probably  have  perished, 
if  I had  first  got  home  to  my  own  house  in  the 
wilderness,  where  I have  none  to  converse  with 
but  the  poor,  rude,  ignorant  Indians.  Here,  I 
saw,  was  mercy  in  the  midst  of  affliction.  I 
continued  thus,  mostly  confined  to  my  bed,  till 
Friday  night  ; very  full  of  pain  most  of  the 
time ; but  through  divine  goodness,  not  afraid 
of  death.  Then  the  extreme  folly  of  those  ap- 


brainerd’s  journal.  15 

peared  to  me,  who  put  off  their  turning  to  God 
till  a sick  bed.  Surely  this  is  not  a time  prepare 
to  prepare  for  eternity.  On  Friday  evening 
my  pains  went  off  somewhat  suddenly.  I was 
exceedingly  weak,  and  almost  fainted ; but 
was  very  comfortable  the  night  following. 
These  words  of  Psal.  cxviii  17,  “I  shall  not  die, 
but  live,”  &c.,  I frequently  revolved  in  my 
mind  : and  thought  we  were  to  prize  the  con- 
tinuation of  life,  only  on  this  account,  that  we 
may  ‘‘show  forth  God’s  goodness  and  grace.” 

Lord's  Day.  Oct.  23.  In  the  morning  I 
had  a little  dawn  of  comfort  arising  from  hopes 
of  seeing  glorious  days  in  the  Church  of  God  ; 
and  was  enabled  to  pray  for  such  a glorious 
day,  with  some  strength  and  courage  of  hope. 
In  the  forenoon,  treated  on  the  glories  of 
heaven  : in  the  afternoon,  on  the  miseries  of 
hell,  and  the  danger  of  going  there. 

Nov.  3.  Spent  this  day  in  secret  fasting 
and  prayer,  from  morning  till  night.  Early  in 
the  morning,  I had  some  small  degree  of  as- 
sistance in  prayer.  Afterwards,  read  the  story 
of  Elijah  the  prophet,  1 Kings,  chapters,  xvii. 
xviii.  and  xix.  and  also  2 Kings,  chapters  ii. 
and  iv.  My  soul  then  cried  with  Elisha, 
‘‘Where  is  the  Lord  God  of  Elijah?”  Oh,  I 
longed  for  more  faith  ! My  soul  breathed  after 
God,  and  pleaded  with  Him,  that  a double 
portion  that  Spirit  which  was  given  to  Elijah 
might  rest  on  me.  And  that  which  was 
divinely  refreshing  and  strengthening  to  my 
soul,  was,  that  I saw  God  to  be  the  same  that 
He  was  in  the  days  of  Elijah.  Was  enabled  to 
wrestle  with  God  by  prayer,  in  a more  affection- 


1 6 SELECTIONS  FROM 

ate,  fervent,  humble,  intense,  and  importunate 
manner,  than  I have  for  many  months  past. 
Nothing  seemed  too  hard  for  God  to  perform; 
nothing  too  great  for  me  to  hope  for  from  Him . 
I had  for  many  months  entirely  lost  all  hopes  of 
being  made  instrumental  of  doing  any  special 
service  for  God  in  the  world  ; it  has  appeared 
entirely  impossible,  that  one  so  vile  should  be 
thus  employed  for  God.  But  at  this  time  God 
was  pleased  to  revive  this  hope.  Afterwards  read 
from  the  iii.  chapter  of  Exodus  to  chapter  xx., 
and  saw  more  of  the  glory  and  majesty  of  God 
discovered  in  those  chapters,  than  ever  I had 
seen  before  ; frequently  in  the  meantime  fall- 
ing on  my  knees,  and  crying  to  God  for  the 
faith  of  Moses,  and  for  a manifestation  of  thS 
divine  glory . Especially  the  iii.  and  iv.,  and  part 
of  the  xiv.  and  xv.  chapters,  were  unspeakably 
sweet  to  my  soul  : my  soul  blessed  God,  that 
He  had  shown  Himself  so  gracious  to  his  ser- 
vants of  old.  The  xv.  chapter  seemed  to  be 
the  very  language  which  my  soul  uttered  to 
God  in  the  season  of  my  first  spiritual  comfort, 
when  I had  just  got  through  the  Red  Sea}  by  a 
way  that  I had  no  expectation  of.  O how  my 
soul  then  rejoiced  in  God!  And  now  those 
things  came  fresh  and  lively  to  my  mind  ; now 
my  soul  blessed  God  that  he  had  opened  that 
unthought-of  way  to  deliver  me  from  the  fear 
of  the  Egyptians,  when  I almost  despaired  of 
life. — Afterwards  read  the  story  of  Abraham’s 
pilgrimage  in  the  land  of  Canaan.  My  soul 
was  melted,  in  observing  his  faith,  how  he 
leaned  on  God  ; how  he  communed  with  God  ; 
and  what  a stranger  he  was  here  in  the  world. 


brainerd’s  journal.  17 

After  that,  read  the  story  of  Joseph’s  sufferings, 
and  God’s  goodness  to  him  : blessed  God  for 
those  examples  of  faith  and  patience.  My  soul 
was  ardent  in  prayer,  was  enabled  to  wrestle 
ardently  for  myself,  for  Christian  friends,  and 
for  the  Church  of  God.  And  felt  more  desire 
to  see  the  power  of  God  in  the  conversion  of 
souls,  than  I have  done  for  a long  season. 
Blessed  be  God  for  this  season  of  fasting  and 
prayer  ! May  His  goodness  always  abide  with 
me,  and  draw  my  soul  to  Him  ! 

November  10.  Spent  this  day  in  fasting 
and  prayer  alone.  In  the  morning,  was  very 
dull  and  lifeless,  melancholy  and  discouraged. 
But  after  some  time,  while  reading  2 Kings, 
xix.,  my  soul  was  moved  and  affected;  especially 
reading  verse  14,  and  onward.  I saw  there  was 
no  other  way  for  the  afflicted  children  of  God  to 
take,  but  to  go  to  God  with  all  their  sorrows. 
Hezekiah,  in  his  great  distress,  went  and  spread 
his  complaint ' before  the  Lord.  I was  then 
enabled  to  see  the  mighty  power  of  God,  and 
my  extreme  need  of  that  power;  and  to  cry  to 
Him  affectionately  and  ardently  for  His  power 
and  grace  to  be  exercised  towards  me. — After- 
wards, read  the  story  of  David’s  trials,  and 
observed  the  course  he  took  under  them,  how 
he  strengthened  his  hands  in  God;  whereby 
my  soul  was  carried  out  after  God,  enabled  to 
cry  to  Him,  and  rely  upon  Him,  and  felt  strong 
in  the  Lord.  Was  afterwards  refreshed,  observ- 
ing the  blessed  temper  that  was  wrought  in 
David  by  his  trials:  all  bitterness,  and  desire  of 
revenge,  seemed  wholly  taken  away;  so  that  he 
mourned  over  the  death  of  his  enemies.  2Sam.i. 


1 8 SELECTIONS  FROM 

17  and  iv.  9,  ad  fin.  Was  enabled  to  bless  God, 
that  he  had  given  me  something  of  this  divine 
temper,  that  my  soul  freely  forgives , and 
heartily  loves  my  enemies . 

December  /.  Both  morning  and  evening, 
I enjoyed  some  intenseness  of  soul  in  prayer, 
and  longed  for  the  enlargement  of  Christ’s 
kingdom  in  the  world.  My  soul  seems  of  late 
to  wait  on  God  for  his  blessing  on  the  Church. 
Oh  that  religion  might  powerfully  revive! 

December  22.  Spent  this  day  alone  in 
fasting  and  prayer,  and  reading  in  God’s  Word 
the  exercises  and  deliverances  of  His  children. 
Had,  I trust,  some  exercise  of  faith,  and  realiz- 
ing apprehension  of  divine  power,  grace,  and 
holiness;  and,  also,  of  the  unchangeableness  of 
God,  that  He  is  the  same  as  when  He  delivered 
His  saints  of  old  out  of  great  tribulation.  My 
soul  was  sundry  times  in  prayer  enlarged  for 
God’s  Church  and  people.  “Oh  that  Zion  might 
become  the  joy  of  the  whole  earth!”  It  is 
better  to  wait  upon  God  with  patience,  than  to 
put  confidence  in  anything  in,  this  lower  world. 
“ My  soul,  wait  thou  on  the  Lord;”  for  “from 
Him  comes  thy  salvation.” 

December  26.  Rode  down  to  Stockbridge. 
Was  very  much  fatigued  with  my  journey, 
wherein  I underwent  great  hardships:  was 
much  exposed  and  very  wet  by  falling  into  a 
river. 

December  28.  Rode  about  six  miles  to  the 
ordination  of  Mr.  Hopkins.  At  the  solemnity 
I was  somewhat  affected  with  a sense  of  the 
greatness  and  importance  of  the  work  of  a min- 
ister of  Christ.  Afterwards  was  grieved  to  see 


19 


brainerd’s  journal. 

the  vanity  of  the  multitude.  In  the  evening, 
spent  a little  time  with  some  Christian  friends, 
with  some  degree  of  satisfaction;  but  most  of 
the  time  I had  rather  have  been  alone. 

December  29.  Spent  the  day  mainly  in 
conversing  with  friends;  yet  enjoyed  little  satis- 
faction, because  I could  find  but  few  disposed 
to  converse  of  divine  and  heavenly  things. 
Alas,  what  are  the  things  of  this  world,  to 
afford  satisfaction  to  the  soul! — Near  night,  re- 
turned to  Stockbridge.  In  secret,  I blessed  God 
for  retirement,  and  that  I am  not  always  ex- 
posed to  the  company  and  conversation  of  the 
world.  O that  I could  live  “in  the  secret  of 
God’s  presence! ’ ’ 

December  31 . Rode  from  Stockbridge  home 
to  my  house.  The  air  was  clear  and  calm,  but 
as  cold  as  ever  I felt  it,  or  nearly  so.  I was  in 
great  danger  of  perishing  by  the  extremity  of 
the  season. — Was  enabled  to  meditate  much  on 
the  road. 

Lord's  Day , Jan.  /,  1744.  Of  a truth  God 
has  been  kind  and  gracious  to  me,  though  He 
has  caused  me  to  pass  through  many  sorrows. 
He  has  provided  for  me  bountifully,  so  that  I 
have  been  enabled,  in  about  fifteen  months 
past,  to  bestow  to  charitable  uses  about  an 
hundred  pounds  New  England  money,  that  I 
can  now  remember.  Blessed  be  the  Lord, 
who  has  so  far  used  me  as  His  steward , to  distri- 
bute ^portion  of  His  goods.  May  I always  re- 
member, that  all  I have  comes  from  God. 
Blessed  be  the  Lord,  who  has  carried  me 
through  all  the  toils,  fatigues,  and  hardships  of 
the  year  past,  as  well  as  the  spiritual  sorrows 


20 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


and  conflicts  that  have  attended  it.  O that  I 
could  begin  this  year  with  God , and  spend  the 
whole  of  it  to  His  glory , either  in  life  or  death! 

January  14 . This  morning,  enjoyed  a most 
solemn  season  in  prayer:  my  soul  seemed  en- 
larged, and  assisted  to  pour  out  itself  to  God 
for  grace,  and  for  every  blessing  I wanted  for 
myself,  my  dear  Christians  friends,  and  for  the 
Church  of  God;  and  was  so  enabled  to  see  Him 
who  is  invisible , that  my  soul  rested  upon  Him 
for  the  performance  of  everything  I asked 
agreeable  to  His  will.  My  soul  confided  in  God 
for  myself,  and  for  His  Church ; trusted  in  divine 
power  and  grace,  that  he  would  do  glorious 
things  in  His  Church  on  earth,  for  His  own 
glory. 

January  23.  I think  I never  felt  more  re- 
signed to  God,  nor  so  dead  to  the  world,  in 
every  respect,  as  now;  am  dead  to  all  desire  of 
reputation  and  greatness,  either  in  life,  or  after 
death;  all  I long  for,  is  to  be  holy,  humble, 
and  crucified  to  the  world. 

February  4.  Enjoyed  some  degree  of  freedom 
and  spiritual  refreshment;  was  enabled  to  pray 
with  some  fervency,  and  with  longing  desires 
for  the  Church’s  prosperity;  and  my  faith  and 
hope  seemed  to  take  hold  of  God , for  the  per- 
formance of  what  I was  enabled  to  plead  for. 
Sanctification  in  myself,  and  the  ingathering  of 
God’s  elect,  were  all  my  desire;  and  the  hope 
of  their  accomplishment  all  my  joy. 

March  2.  Was  most  of  the  day  employed 
in  writing  on  a divine  subject.  Was  frequent 
in  prayer,  and  enjoyed  some  small  degree  of 
assistance.  But  in  the  evening,  God  was  pleased 


BRAINEKD’S  JOURNAL.  21 

to  grant  me  divine  sweetness  in  prayer;  espe- 
cially in  the  duty  of  intercession.  I think,  I 
never  felt  so  much  kindness  and  love  to  those 
who,  I have  reason  to  think,  are  my  enemies, — 
though  at  that  time  I found  such  a disposition 
to  think  the  best  of  all,  that  I scarce  knew  how 
to  think  that  any  such  thing  as  enmity  and 
hatred  lodged  in  any  soul;  it  seemed  as  if  all 
the  world  must  needs  be  friends.  I never 
prayed  with  more  freedom  and  delight  for  my- 
self, or  dearest  friend,  than  I did  now  for  my 
enemies. 

March  j.  In  the  morning,  spent  (I  believe) 
an  hour  in  prayer,  with  great  intenseness  and 
freedom,  and  with  the  most  soft  and  tender 
affection  towards  mankind.  I longed  that 
those  who,  I have  reason  to  think,  bear  me  ill 
will,  might  be  eternally  happy.  It  seemed  re- 
freshing to  think  of  meeting  them  in  heaven, 
how  much  soever  they  had  injured  me  on 
earth.  I had  no  disposition  to  insist  upon  any 
confession  from  them,  in  order  to  reconciliation 
and  the  exercise  of  love  and  kindness  to  them. 
Oh,  it  is  an  emblem  of  heaven  itself,  to  love  all 
the  world  with  a love  of  kindness,  forgiveness, 
and  benevolence;  to  feel  our  souls  sedate,  mild 
and  meek;  to  be  void  of  all  evil  surmisings  and 
suspicions,  and  scarce  able  to  think  evil  of  any 
man  upon  any  occasion;  to  find  our  hearts 
simple,  open,  and  free,  to  those  that  look  upon 
us  with  a different  eye! — Prayer  was  so  sweet  an 
exercise  to  me,  that  I knew  not  how  to  cease, 
lest  I should  loose  the  spirit  of  prayer.  Felt 
no  disposition  to  eat  or  drink,  for  the  sake  of 
the  pleasure  of  it,  but  only  to  support  my 


22 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


body,  and  fit  me  for  divine  service.  Could 
not  be  content  without  a very  particular  men- 
tion of  a great  number  of  dear  friends  at  the 
throne  of  grace;  as  also  the  particular  circum- 
stances of  many,  so  far  as  they  were  known. 

Lord's  Day , March  4.  In  the  morning,  en- 
joyed the  same  intenseness  in  prayer  as  yester- 
day morning,  though  not  in  so  great  a degree: 
felt  the  same  spirit  of  love,  universal  benevo- 
lence, forgiveness,  humility,  resignation,  morti- 
fication to  the  world,  and  composure  of  mind, 
as  then.  My  soul  rested  in  God;  and  I found 
I wanted  no  other  refuge  or  friend.  While  my 
soul  thus  trusts  in  God,  all  things  seem  to  be 
at  peace  with  me,  even  the  stones  of  the  earth: 
but  when  I cannot  apprehend  and  confide  in 
God,  all  things  appear  with  a different  aspect. 

March  10.  In  the  morning,  felt  exceeding 
dead  to  the  world,  and  all  its  enjoyments.  I 
thought  I was  ready  and  willing  to  give  up  life 
and  all  its  comforts,  as  soon  as  called  to  it;  and 
yet  then  had  as  much  comfort  of  life  as  almost 
ever  I had.  Life  itself  now  appeared  but  an 
empty  bubble;  the  riches,  honors,  and  common 
enjoyments  of  life  appeared  extremely  tasteless. 
I longed  to  be  perpetually  and  entirely  cruci- 
fied to  all  things  here  below,  by  the  cross  of 
Christ.  My  soul  was  sweetly  resigned  to  God’s 
disposal  of  me,  in  every  regard;  and  I saw  that 
nothing  had  happened  but  what  was  best  for 
me.  I confided  in  God,  that  He  would  never 
leave  me , though  I should  “walk  through  the 
valley  of  the  shadow  of  death.”  It  was  then 
my  meat  and  drink  to  be  holy,  to  live  to  the 
Lord , and  die  to  the  Lord. 


brainerd’s  journal.  23 

May  8.  Set  out  from  Sharon,  in  Connecti- 
cut, and  travelled  about  forty-five  miles  to  a 
place  called  Fishkill,  and  lodged  there. 
Spent  much  of  my  time,  while  riding,  in 
prayer,  that  God  would  go  with  me  to  Dela- 
ware. My  heart,  sometimes,  was  ready  to  sink 
with  the  thoughts  of  my  work,  and  going  alone 
in  the  wilderness,  I knew  not  where;  but  still 
it  was  comfortable,  to  think,  that  others  of 
God’s  children  had  “wandered  about  in  caves 
and  dens  of  the  earth;”  and  Abraham,  when 
he  was  called  to  go  forth,  “went  out,  not  know- 
ing whither  he  went.”  Oh  that  I might  follow 
after  God! 

June  27.  Felt  something  of  the  same  solemn 
concern,  and  spirit  of  prayer,  which  I enjoyed 
last  night,  soon  after  I rose  in  the  morning.  In 
the  afternoon,  rode  several  miles  to  see  if  I 
could  procure  any  lands  for  the  poor  Indians, 
that  they  might  live  together,  and  be  under 
advantages  for  instruction. — While  I was  riding, 
had  a deep  sense  of  the  greatness  and  difficulty 
of  my  work;  and  my  soul  seemed  to  rely  wholly 
upon  God  for  success,  in  the  diligent  and  faith- 
ful use  of  means.  Saw,  with  the  greatest 
certainty,  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  must  be  re- 
vealed, for  the  help  of  these  poor  heathen,  if 
ever  they  were  delivered  from  the  bondage  of 
the  powers  of  darkness.  Spent  most  of  the 
time,  while  riding,  in  lifting  up  my  heart  for 
grace  and  assistance. 

June  28.  Spent  the  morning  in  reading 
several  parts  of  the  Holy  Scripture,  and  in  fer- 
vent prayer  for  my  Indians,  that  God  would 
set  up  His  kingdom  among  them,  and  bring 


24 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


them  into  His  Church.  About  nine,  I withdrew 
to  my  usual  place  of  retirement  in  the  woods; 
and  there  again  enjoyed  some  assistance  in 
prayer.  My  great  concern  was  for  the  con- 
version of  the  heathen  to  God;  and  the  Lord 
helped  me  to  plead  with  Him  for  it.  Towards 
noon,  rode  up  to  the  Indians,  in  order  to  preach 
to  them;  and,  while  going,  my  heart  went  up 
to  God  in  prayer  for  them;  could  freely  tell 
God,  he  knew  that  the  cause  in  which  I was 
engaged  was  not  mine;  but  that  it  was  His  own 
cause,  and  that  it  would  be  for  His  own  glory  to 
convert  the  poor  Indians:  and  blessed  be  God, 
I felt  no  desire  of  their  conversion,  that  I might 
receive  honor  from  the  world,  as  being  the  in- 
strument of  it.  Had  some  freedom  in  speaking 
to  the  Indians. 

July  6.  Awoke  this  morning  in  the 
fear  of  God.  After  I arose,  I spent  some  time 
in  reading  God’s  Word,  and  in  prayer.  I cried 
to  God  under  a sense  of  my  great  indigence.  I 
am,  of  late,  most  of  all  concerned  for  minis- 
terial qualifications,  and  the  conversion  of  the 
heathen.  Last  year,  I longed  to  be  prepared 
for  a world  of  glory,  and  speedily  to  depart  out 
of  this  world;  but  of  late  all  my  concern,  al- 
most, is  for  the  conversion  of  the  heathen;  and 
for  that  end  I long  to  live.  But  blessed  be 
God,  I have  less  desire  to  live  for  any  of  the 
pleasures  of  the  world,  than  I ever  had.  I 
long  and  love  to  be  a pilgrim;  and  want  grace 
to  imitate  the  life,  labors,  and  sufferings  of  St. 
Paul  among  the  heathen.  And  when  I long 
for  holiness  now,  it  is  not  so  much  for  myself 
as  formerly;  but  rather  that  thereby  I may  be- 


brainkrd’s  journal.  25 

come  an  “able  minister  of  the  New  Coven- 
ant,” especially  to  the  heathen.  Spent  about 
two  hpurs  this  morning  in  reading  and  prayer 
by  turns;  and  was  in  a watchful,  tender  frame, 
afraid  of  everything  that  might  cool  my  affec- 
tions, and  draw  away  my  heart  from  God. 

July  12 . Towards  night  my  burden  respect- 
ing my* work  among  the  Indians  began  to  in- 
crease much;  and  was  aggravated  by  hearing 
sundry  things,  which  looked  very  discouraging; 
in  particular,  that  they  intended  to  meet  to- 
gether the  next  day  for  an  idolatrous  feast  and 
dance.  Then  I began  to  be  in  anguish.  I 
thought  that  I must  in  conscience  go  and  en- 
deavor to  break  them  up;  yet  knew  not  how  to 
attempt  such  a thing.  However,  I withdrew 
for  prayer,  hoping  for  strength  from  above.  In 
prayer  I was  exceedingly  enlarged,  and  my 
soul  was  as  much  drawn  out  as  I ever  remem- 
ber it  to  have  been  in  my  life.  I was  in  such 
anguish,  and  pleaded  with  so  much  earnestness 
and  importunity,  that  when  *1  rose  from  my 
knees  I felt  extremely  weak  and  overcome;  I 
could  scarce  walk  straight;  my  joints  were 
loosed;  the  sweat  ran  down  my  face  and  body; 
and  nature  seemed  as  if  it  would  dissolve.  So 
far  as  I could  judge,  I wras  wholly  free  from 
selfish  ends  in  my  fervent  supplications  for  the 
poor  Indians.  I knew  that  they  were  met  to- 
gether to  worship  devils,  and  not  God:  and 
this  made  me  cry  earnestly,  that  God  would 
now  appear,  and  help  me  in  my  attempts  to 
break  up  this  idolatrous  meeting.  My  soul 
pleaded  long;  and  I thought  that  God  would 
hear,  and  would  go  with  me  to  vindicate  His 


26 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


own  cause;  I seemed  to  confide  in  God  for  His 
presence  and  assistance.  And  thus  I spent  the 
evening,  praying  incessantly  for  divine  assist- 
ance, and  that  I might  not  be  self-dependent, 
but  still  have  my  whole  dependence  upon  God. 
What  I passed  through  was  remarkable,  and 
indeed  inexpressible.  All  things  here  below 
vanished;  and  there  appeared  to  be  nothing  of 
any  considerable  importance  to  me,  but  holi- 
ness of  heart  and  life,  and  the  conversion  of  the 
heathen  to  God.  All  my  cares,  fears,  and 
desires,  which  might  be  said  to  be  of  a worldly 
nature,  disappeared;  and  were,  in  my  esteem, 
of  little  more  importance  than  a puff  of  wind. 
I exceedingly  longed  that  God  would  get  to 
Himself  a name  among  the  heathen;  and  I ap- 
pealed to  Him  with  the  greatest  freedom,  that 
He  knew  I “preferred  Him  above  my  chiefjoy.” 
Indeed,  I had  no  notion  of  joy  from  this  world; 
I cared  not  where  or  how  I lived,  or  what  hard- 
ships I went  through,  so  that  I could  but  gain 
souls  to  Christ.  *1  continued  in  this  frame  all 
the  evening  and  night.  While  I was  asleep,  I 
dreamed  all  these  things;  and  when  I walked, 
(as  I frequently  did,)  the  first  thing  I thought 
of  was  this  great  work  of  pleading  for  God 
against  Satan. 

Lord's  Day , July  22 . When  I waked,  my 
soul  was  burdened  with  what  seemed  to  be  be- 
fore me.  I cried  to  God,  before  I could  get 
out  of  my  bed;  and  as  soon  as  I was  dressed,  I 
withdrew  into  the  woods,  to  pour  out  my  bur- 
dened soul  to  God,  especially  for  assistance  in 
my  great  work;  for  I could  scarcely  think  of 
anything  else.  I enjoyed  the  same  freedom 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  27 


and  fervency  as  last  evening;  and  did  with 
unspeakable  freedom  give  up  myself  afresh  to 
God,  for  life  or  death,  for  all  hardships  He 
should  call  me  to  among  the  heathen;  and  felt 
as  if  nothing  could  discourage  me  from  this 
blessed  work.  I had  a strong  hope  that  God 
would  “bow  the  heavens  and  come  down,”  and 
do  some  marvellous  work  among  the  heathen. 
While  I was  riding  to  the  Indians — three  miles, 
my  heart  was  continually  going  out  to  God  for 
His  presence  and  assistance;  and  hoping,  and  al- 
most expecting,  that  God  would  make  this  the 
day  of  His  power  and  grace  amongst  the  poor 
Indians.  When  I came  to  them,  I found  them 
engaged  in  their  frolic;  but  through  divine 
goodness  I persuaded  them  to  desist,  and  at- 
tend to  my  preaching:  yet  still  there  appeared 
nothing  of  the  special  power  of  God  among 
them.  Preached  again  to  them  in  the  after- 
noon, and  observed  the  Indians  were  more 
sober  than  before;  but  still  saw  nothing  special 
among  them.  Hence  Satan  took  occasion  to 
tempt  and  buffet  me  with  these  cursed  suggest- 
ions: “There  is  no  God,  or  if  there  be,  He  is  not 

able  to  convert  the  Indians,  before  they  have 
more  knowledge,”  &c.  I was  very  weak  and 
weary,  and  my  soul  borne  down  with  per- 
plexity; but  was  mortified  to  all  the  world,  and 
was  determined  still  to  wait  upon  God  for  the 
conversion  of  the  heathen,  though  the  devil 
tempted  me  to  the  contrary. 


July  23.  Retained  still  a deep  and  pressing 
sense  of  what  lay  with  so  much  weight  upon 
me  yesterday;  but  was  more  calm  and  quiet. 
Enjoyed  freedom  and  composure,  after  the 


28 


SKI^KCTIONS  FROM 


temptations  of  last  evening  ; had  sweet 
resignation  to  the  divine  will;  and  desired 
nothing  so  much  as  the  conversion  of  the 
heathen  to  God,  and  that  His  kingdom  might 
come  in  my  own  heart,  and  the  hearts  of  others. 

July  24.  Rode  about  seventeen  miles  west- 
ward, over  a hideous  mountain,  to  a number  of 
Indians.  Got  together  near  thirty  of  them: 
preached  to  them  in  the  evening,  and  lodged 
among  them. — Was  weak,  and  felt  in  some 
degree  disconsolate;  yet  could  have  no  freedom 
in  the  thought  of  any  other  circumstances  or 
other  business  in  life.  All  my  desire  was  the  con- 
version of  the  heathen;  and  all  hope  was  in 
God.  God  does  not  suffer  me  to  please  or  com- 
fort myself  with  hopes  of  seeing  friends,  re- 
turning to  my  dear  acquaintances,  and  enjoying 
worldly  comforts. 

Lord's  Day , September  2.  Was  enabled  to 
speak  to  my  poor  Indians  with  much  concern 
and  fervency;  and  I am  persuaded  that  God 
enabled  me  to  exercise  faith  in  Him,  while  I 
was  speaking  to  them.  I perceived  that  some 
of  them  were  afraid  to  hearken  to  and  embrace 
Christianity,  lest  they  should  be  enchanted  and 
poisoned  by  some  of  the  powaws : but  I was  en- 
abled to  plead  with  them  not  to  fear  these; 
and  confiding  in  God  for  safety  and  deliver- 
ance, I bid  a challenge  to  all  these 
powers  of  darkness , to  do  their  worst  on  me 
first.  I told  my  people  that  I was  a Christian , 
and  asked  them  why  the  powaws  did  not  be- 
witch and  poison  me.  I scarcely  ever  felt 
more  sensible  of  my  own  unworthiness,  than  in 
this  action.  I saw  that  the  honor  of  God  was 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  29 

concerned  in  the  affair;  and  I desired  to  be  pre- 
served— not  from  selfish  views,  but  for  a testi- 
mony of  the  Divine  power  and  goodness,  and 
of  the  truth  of  Christianity,  and  that  God 
might  be  glorified.  Afterwards,  1 found  my 
soul  rejoice  in  God  for  His  assisting  grace. 

Oct.  8.  Visited  the  Indians  with  a design 
to  take  my  leave  of  them,  supposing  they 
would  this  morning  go  out  to  hunting  early; 
but  beyond  my  expectation  and  hope,  they 
desired  to  hear  me  preach  again.  I gladly 
complied  with  their  request,  and  afterwards 
endeavoured  to  answer  their  objections  against 
Christianity.  Then  they  went  away;  and  we 
spent  the  rest  of  the  afternoon  in  reading  and 
prayer,  intending  to  go  homeward  very  early 
the  next  day.  My  soul  was  in  some  measure 
refreshed  in  secret  prayer  and  meditation. 
Blessed  be  the  Lord  for  all  His  goodness. 

Oct.  9.  We  rose  about  four  in  the  morning; 
and,  commending  ourselves  to  God  by  prayer, 
and  asking  His  special  protection,  we  set  out  on 
our  journey  homewards  about  five,  and 
travelled  with  great  steadiness  till  past  six  at 
night;  and  then  made  us  a fire,  and  a shelter  of 
barks,  and  so  rested.  I had  some  clear  and 
comfortable  thoughts  on  a divine  subject,  by 
the  way,  towards  night.  In  the  night,  the 
wolves  howled  around  us;  but  God  preserved 
us. 

Lord's  Day , Oct.  14.  Was  much  confused 
and  perplexed  in  my  thoughts;  could  not  pray; 
and  was  almost  discouraged,  thinking  I should 
never  be  able  to  preach  any  more.  Afterwards, 
God  was  pleased  to  give  me  some  relief  from 
these  confusions;  but  still  I was  afraid,  and 


30 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


even  troubled  before  God.  I went  to  the  place 
of  public  worship,  lifting  up  my  heart  to  God 
for  assistance  and  grace,  in  my  great  work:  and 
God  was  gracious  to  me,  helping  me  to  plead 
with  Him  for  holiness,  and  to  use  the  strongest 
arguments  with  Him,  drawn  from  the  incarna- 
tion and  sufferings  of  Christ  for  this  very  end, 
that  men  might  be  made  holy.  Afterwards,  I 
was  much  assisted  in  preaching.  I know  not 
that  ever  God  helped  me  to  preach  in  a more 
close  and  distinguishing  manner  for  the  trial 
of  men’s  state.  Through  the  infinite  goodness 
of  God,  I felt  what  I spoke;  He  enabled  me  to 
treat  on  Divine  truth  with  uncommon  clearness; 
and  yet  I was  so  sensible  of  my  defects  in 
preaching,  that  I could  not  be  proud  of  my 
performance,  as  at  some  times;  and  blessed  be 
the  Lord  for  this  mercy!  In  the  evening  I 
longed  to  be  entirely  alone,  to  bless  God  for 
help  in  a time  of  extremity;  and  longed  for 
great  degrees  of  holiness,  that  I might  show 
my  gratitude  to  God. 

November  22.  Came  on  my  way  from  Rock- 
citicus  to  the  Delaware.  Was  very  much  dis- 
ordered with  a cold  and  pain  in  my  head. 
About  six  at  night,  I lost  my  way  in  the  wilder- 
ness, and  wandered  over  rocks  and  mountains, 
down  hideous  steeps,  through  swamps,  and 
most  dreadful  and  dangerous  places;  and,  the 
night  being  dark,  so  that  few  stars  could  be 
seen,  I was  greatly  exposed.  I was  much 
pinched  with  cold,  and  distressed  with  an  ex- 
treme pain  in  my  head,  attended  with  sickness 
at  my  stomach;  so  that  every  step  I took  was 
distressing  to  me.  I had  little  hope  for  several 


brainerd’s  journal.  31 

hours  together,  but  that  I must  lie  out  in  the 
woods  all  night,  in  this  distressed  case.  But 
about  nine  o’clock,  I found  a house,  through 
the  abundant  goodness  of  God,  and  was  kindly 
entertained.  Thus  I have  frequently  been  ex- 
posed, and  sometimes  lain  out  the  whole  night: 
but  God  has  hitherto  preserved  me;  and  blessed 
be  His  name.  Such  fatigues  and  hardships  as 
these  serve  to  wean  me  from  the  earth;  and,  I 
trust,  will  make  heaven  the  sweeter.  Formerly, 
when  I was  thus  exposed  to  cold  and  rain,  I 
was  ready  to  please  myself  with  the  thoughts 
of  enjoying  a comfortable  house,  a warm  fire, 
and  other  outward  comforts;  but  now  these 
have  less  place  in  my  heart,  (through  the  grace 
of  God,)  and  my  eye  is  more  to  God  for  com- 
fort. In  this  world  I expect  tribulation;  and  it 
does  not  now,  as  formerly,  appear  strange  to 
me.  I do  not  in  such  seasons  of  difficulty 
flatter  myself  that  it  will  be  better  hereafter; 
but  rather  think  how  much  worse  it  might  be; 
how  much  greater  trials  others  of  God’s  children 
have  endured;  and  how  much  greater  are  yet, 
perhaps,  reserved  for  me. 

January  j,  1745.  Being  sensible  of  a great 
want  of  divine  influence,  and  the  outpouring  of 
God’s  Spirit,  I spent  this  day  in  fasting  and 
prayer,  to  seek  so  great  a mercy  for  myself,  my 
poor  people  in  particular,  and  the  Church  of 
God  in  general. 

January  9.  I11  the  morning,  God  was  pleased 
to  remove  that  gloom  which  has  of  late  oppressed 
my  mind,  and  to  give  me  freedom  and  sweet- 
ness in  prayer.  I was  encouraged,  strength- 
ened, and  enabled  to  plead  for  grace  for  my- 
self, and  mercy  for  my  poor  Indians;  and  was 


32 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


sweetly  assisted  in  my  intercessions  with  God 
for  others.  Blessed  be  His  holy  name  for  ever 
and  ever!  Amen,  and  Amen!  Those  things 
that  of  late  appeared  most  difficult  and  almost 
impossible,  now  appeared  not  only  possible, 
but  easy.  My  soul  was  so  much  delighted  to  con- 
tinue instant  in  prayer,  at  this  blessed  season, 
that  I had  no  desire  for  my  necessary  food:  even 
dreaded  leaving  off  praying  at  all,  lest  I should 
lose  this  spirituality,  and  this  blessed  thank- 
fulness to  God  which  I then  felt.  I felt  now 
quite  willing  to  live,  and  undergo  all  trials 
that  might  remain  for  me  in  a world  of  sorrow: 
but  still  longed  for  heaven,  that  I might  glorify 
God  in  a perfect  manner.  O come,  Lord 
Jesus,  come  quickly!  Spent  the  day  in  read- 
ing a little;  and  in  some  diversions,  which  I 
was  necessitated  to  take  by  reason  of  much 
weakness  and  disorder.  In  the  evening,  en- 
joyed some  freedom  and  intenseness  in  prayer. 

Crossweeksung , New  Jersey , June , 77^5 . 

June  19.  I had  spent  most  of  my  time,  for 
more  than  a year  past,  among  the  Indians  at 
the  Forks  of  Delaware  in  Pennsylvania. 
During  that  time  I made  two  journeys  to  the 
Susquehannah  to  treat  with  the  Indians  on 
that  river  respecting  Christianity;  and,  not 
having  had  any  considerable  appearance  of 
special  success  in  either  of  those  places,  my 
spirits  were  depressed,  and  I was  not  a little 
discouraged.  Hearing  that  there  were  a number 
of  Indians  at  a place  called  Crossweeksung , in 
New  Jersey,  nearly  eighty  miles  south-east 
from  the  Forks  of  Delaware,  I determined  to 
make  them  a visit,  and  see  what  might  be  done 


brainerd’s  journal.  33 

towards  Christianizing  them;  and  accordingly 
arrived  among  them  on  Wednesday , June  19th, 
1745. 

I found  very  few  persons  at  the  place  which 
I visited,  and  perceived  that  the  Indians  in 
these  parts  were  very  much  scattered.  There 
were  not  more  than  two  or  three  families  in 
a place;  and  these  small  settlements,  six,  ten, 
fifteen,  twenty  and  thirty  miles,  and  some  still 
more  from  that  place.  However,  I preached 
to  those  few  I found;  who  appeared  well  dis- 
posed, serious  and  attentive,  and  not  inclined 
to  cavil  and  object,  as  the  Indians  had  done 
elsewhere.  When  I had  concluded  my  dis- 
course, I informed  them,  there  being  none  but 
a few  women  and  children,  that  I would 
willingly  visit  them  again  the  next  day. 
Whereupon  they  readily  set  out  and  travelled 
ten  or  fifteen  miles,  in  order  to  give  notice  to 
some  of  their  friends  at  that  distance.  These 
women,  like  the  woman  of  Samaria,  seemed 
desirous  that  others  should  see  the  man  who 
had  told  them  what  they  had  done  in  their 
past  lives,  and  the  misery  that  attended  their 
idolatrous  ways.  At  night  was  worn  out,  and 
scarcely  able  to  walk,  or  sit  up.  Oh,  how  tire- 
some is  earth;  how  dull  the  body! 

June  20.  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again  as  I proposed.  Numbers  were  gathered 
at  the  invitations  of  their  friends,  who  had 
heard  me  the  day  before.  These  also  appeared 
as  attentive,  orderly  and  well  disposed  as  the 
others:  and  none  made  any  objections,  as 
Indians  in  other  places  have  usually  done. 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


34 

Towards  night  preached  to  the  Indians  again, 
and  had  more  hearers  than  before. 

June  22.  About  noon  rode  to  the  Indians 
again,  and  next  night  preached  to  them.  Found 
my  body  much  strengthened,  and  was  enabled 
to  speak  with  abundant  plainness  and  warmth. 
Their  number,  which  at  first  consisted  of  seven 
or  eight  persons,  was  now  increased  to  nearly 
thirty.  There  was  not  only  a solemn  attention 
among  them,  but  some  considerable  impres- 
sion, it  was  apparent,  was  made  upon  their 
minds  by  Divine  truth.  This  was  indeed  a 
sweet  afternoon  to  me.  While  riding,  before 
I came  to  the  Indians,  my  spirits  were  refreshed, 
and  my  soul  was  enabled  to  cry  to  God  in- 
cessantly, for  many  miles  together. 

June  24.  Preached  to  the  Indians  at  their 
desire,  and  upon  their  own  motion.  To  see 
poor  Pagans  desirous  of  hearing  the  gospel  of 
Christ,  animated  me  to  discourse  to  them;  al- 
though I was  now  very  weakly,  and  my  spirits 
much  exhausted. 

June  27.  Visited  and  preached  to  the  Indians 
again.  Their  number  now  amounted  to  about 
forty  persons.  Their  solemnity  and  attention 
still  continued,  and  a considerable  concern  for 
their  souls  became  very  apparent  among 
numbers  of  them. 

June  29.  Preached  twice  to  the  Indians;  and 
could  not  but  wonder  at  their  seriousness,  and 
the  strictness  of  their  attention.  Saw,  as  I 
thought,  the  hand  of  God  very  evidently,  and 
in  a manner  somewhat  remarkable,  making 
provision  for  their  subsistence  together,  in 
order  to  their  being  instructed  in  Divine  things. 


brainerd’s  journal.  35 

For  this  day,  and  the  day  before,  with  only 
walking  a little  way  from  the  place  of  our  daily 
meeting,  they  killed  three  deer,  which  were  a 
seasonable  supply  for  their  wants,  and  without 
which,  they  could  not  have  subsisted  together 
in  order  to  attend  the  means  of  grace. 

Mr.  Brainerd  left  the  Indians  at  Cross* 
weeksung  on  the  2nd  of  July,  feeling  that 
he  must  visit  others,  at  the  Forks  of  Dela* 
ware,  for  a season.  He  returned  to  Cross* 
weeksung  in  August.  His  chief  fruit  during 
his  absence  was  the  conversion  of  his  in= 
terpreter  and  his  family.  The  following 
passage  occurs  in  his  Diary  just  before 
he  returned: 

July  26 . In  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to 
help  me  in  prayer,  beyond  what  I have  experi- 
enced for  some  time.  Especially,  my  soul  was 
drawn  out  for  the  encouragement  of  Christ’s 
kingdom,  and  for  the  conversion  of  my  poor 
people;  and  my  soul  relied  on  God  for  the 
accomplishment  of  that  great  work.  How  I 
longed  to  be  with  Christ,  to  be  employed  in  the 
glorious  work  of  angels,  and  with  an  angel’s 
vigour  and  delight!  Yet  how  willing  was  I to 
stay  awhile  on  earth,  that  I might  do  some- 
thing, if  the  Lord  pleased,  for  His  interest  in 
the  world?  My  soul,  my  very  soul,  longed  for 
the  ingathering  of  the  poor  Heathen;  and  I 
cried  to  God  most  willingly  and  heartily.  I 
could  not  but  cry.  This  was  a sweet  season; 
for  I had  some  lively  taste  of  Heaven,  and  a 
temper  of  mind  suited  in  some  measure  to  the 
employments  and  entertainments  of  it.  My 
soul  was  grieved  to  leave  the  place;  but  my 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


36 

body  was  weak  and  worn  out,  and  it  was  nearly 
nine  o’clock.  I longed  that  the  remaining  part 
of  life  might  be  filled  up  with  more  fervency 
and  activity  in  the  things  of  God.  O the  inward 
peace,  composure,  and  god-like  serenity  of 

such  a frame!  Heaven  must  differ  from  this 
only  in  degree,  not  in  kind.  Lord!  ever  give 
me  this  bread  of  life. 

Crossweeksung,  August  2.  In  the  evening, 
I retired,  and  my  soul  was  drawn  out  in 
prayer  to  God;  especially  for  my  poor 

people,  to  whom  I had  sent  word  that 

they  might  gather  together,  that  I might 
preach  to  them  the  next  day.  I was 

much  enlarged  in  praying  for  their  saving 
conversion;  and  scarcely  ever  found  my  desires 
for  any  thing  of  this  nature  so  sensibly  and 
clearly,  to  my  own  satisfaction,  disinterested, 
and  free  from  selfish  views.  It  seemed  to  me 
I had  no  care,  or  hardly  any  desire,  to  be  the 
instrument  of  so  glorious  a work  as  I wished 
and  prayed  for  among  the  Indians.  If  the 
blessed  work  might  be  accomplished  to  the 
honour  of  God,  and  the  enlargement  of  the 
dear  Redeemer’s  kingdom — this  was  all  my 
desire  and  care;  and  for  this  mercy  I hoped, 
but  with  trembling;  for  I felt  what  Job  ex- 
presses, chap,  ixth,  16th,  “If  I had  called,  and 
He  had  answered  me,  yet  would  I not  believe 
that  He  had  hearkened  unto  my  voice.”  My 
rising  hopes,  respecting  the  conversion  of  the 
Indians,  have  been  so  often  dashed,  that  my 
spirit  is,  as  it  were,  broken,  and  my  courage 
wasted,  and  I hardly  dare  hope.  I visited  the 
Indians  in  these  parts  in  June  last,  and  tarried 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  37 

with  them  a considerable  time,  preaching  al- 
most daily;  at  which  season  God  was  pleased 
to  pour  upon  them  a spirit  of  awakening,  and 
concern  for  their  souls,  and  surprisingly  to 
engage  their  attention  to  Divine  truths.  I now 
found  them  serious,  and  a number  of  them 
under  deep  concern  for  an  interest  in  Christ. 
Their  convictions  of  their  sinful  and  perishing 
state  were,  in  my  absence  from  them,  much 
promoted  by  the  labours  and  endeavours  of 
Rev.  William  Tennent;  to  whom  I had  ad- 
vised them  to  apply  for  direction;  and  whose 
house  they  frequented  much  while  I was  gone. 
I preached  to  them  this  day  with  some  view  to 
Rev.  xxii.  17:  “And  whosoever  will,  let  him 

take  the  water  of  life  freely;’’  though  I could 
not  pretend  to  handle  the  subject  methodically 
among  them.  The  Lord,  I am  persuaded,  en- 
abled me,  in  a manner  somewhat  uncommon, 
to  set  before  them  the  Lord  Jesus  Christ  as  a 
kind  and  compassionate  Saviour,  inviting  dis- 
tressed and  perishing  sinners  to  accept  ever- 
lasting mercy.  A surprising  concern  soon 
became  apparent  among  them.  There  were  only 
about  twenty  adult  persons  together;  many  of 
the  Indians,  at  remote  places,  not  having,  as 
yet,  had  time  to  come  since  my  return  hither. 
Not  above  two  that  I could  see  had 
dry  eyes.  Some  were  much  concerned,  and 
discovered  vehement  longings  of  soul  after 
Christ,  to  save  them  from  the  misery  they  felt 
and  feared. 

Lord's  Day , August  4,  Being  invited  by  a 
neighbouring  minister  to  assist  in  the  ad- 
minstration  of  the  Lord’s  supper,  I complied 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


38 

with  his  request,  and  took  the  Indians  along 
with  me;  not  only  those  who  were  together  the 
day  before,  but  many  more  who  were  coming 
to  hear  me;  so  that  there  were  nearly  fifty  in 
all,  old  and  young.  They  attended  the  several 
discourses  of  the  day;  and  .some  of  them,  who 
could  understand  English,  were  much  affected; 
and  all  seemed  to  have  their  concern  in  some 
measure  raised. 

Now  a change  in  their  manners  began  to 
appear  very  visible.  In  the  evening,  when 
they  came  to  sup  together,  they  would  not 
take  a morsel  until  they  had  sent  to  me  to  come 
and  supplicate  a blessing  on  their  food;  at 
which  time  sundry  of  them  wept;  especially 
when  I reminded  they  had,  in  times  past,  eaten 
their  feasts  in  honour  of  devils , and  neglected 
to  thank  God  for  His  gifts. 

August  5.  After  a sermon  had  been 
preached  by  another  minister,  I preached,  and 
concluded  the  public  work  of  the  solemnity 
from  John  vii,  37:  In  the  last  day , &c.;  and, 

in  my  discourse,  addressed  the  Indians  in  par- 
ticular, who  sat  in  a part  of  the  house  by  them- 
selves; at  which  time,  their  concern  increased 
to  a considerable  degree.  In  the  evening,  the 
greater  part  of  them  being  at  the  house  where 
I lodged,  I discoursed  to  them;  and  found  them 
universally  engaged  about  their  souls’  concerns; 
inquiring  “what  they  should  do  to  be  saved.” 
All  their  conversation  among  themselves  turn- 
ed upon  religious  matters,  in  which  they  were 
much  assisted  by  my  Interpreter,  who  was 
with  them  day  and  night. 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  39 

This  day  there  was  one  woman,  who  had 
been  much  concerned  for  her  soul  ever  since 
she  first  heard  me  preach  in  June  last,  who 
obtained  comfort,  I trust,  solid  and  well- 
grounded.  She  seemed  to  be  filled  with  love 
to  Christ.  At  the  satrie  time  she  behaved  hum- 
bly and  tenderly,  and  appeared  afraid  of 
nothing  so  much  as  of  offending  and  grieving 
Him  whom  her  soul  loved. 

August  6.  In  the  morning  I discoursed  to 
the  Indians  at  the  house  where  we  lodged. 
Many  of  them  were  much  affected,  and 
appeared  surprisingly  tender;  so  that  a few 
words  about  the  concerns  of  their  souls  would 
cause  the  tears  to  flow  freely,  and  produce 
many  sobs  and  groans. — In  the  afternoon,  they 
being  returned  to  the  place  where  I had  usually 
preached  among  them,  I again  discoursed  to 
them  there.  There  were  about  fifty' five  that 
were  capable  of  attending  Divine  service  with 
understanding.  I insisted  on  i John  iv.  io, 
Herein  is  love , &c.  They  seemed  eager  of 
hearing;  but  there  appeared  nothing  very  re- 
markable, except  their  attention,  till  near  the 
close  of  my  discourse;  and  then  Divine  truths 
were  attended  with  a surprising  influence,  and 
produced  a great  concern  among  them.  There 
were  scarcely  three  in  forty  who  could  refrain 
from  tears  and  bitter  cries.  They  all  as  one 
seemed  in  an  agony  of  soul  to  obtain  an  in- 
terest in  Christ;  and  the  more  I discoursed  of 
the  love  and  compassion  of  God  in  sending  His 
Son  to  suffer  for  the  sins  of  men,  and  the  more 
I invited  them  to  come  and  partake  of  His  love, 
the  more  their  distress  was  aggravated,  be- 


40 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


cause  they  felt  themselves  unable  to  come. 
It  was  surprising  to  see  how  their  hearts 
seemed  to  be  pierced  with  the  tender  and 
melting  invitations  of  the  gospel,  when  there 
was  not  a word  of  terror  spoken  to  them. 

There  were  this  day  two  persons  who 
obtained  relief  and  comfort;  which,  when  I 
came  to  discourse  with  them  particularly, 
appeared  solid,  rational  and  scriptural.  After 
I had  inquired  into  the  grounds  of  their  com- 
fort, and  said  many  things  which  I thought 
proper  to  them,  I asked  them  what  they  wanted 
that  God  should  do  further  for  them?  They 
replied,  “they  wanted  Christ  should  wipe  their 
hearts  quite  clean,”  &c.  So  surprising  were 
now  the  doings  of  the  Lord , that  I can  say  no 
less  of  this  day,  and  I need  say  no  more  of  it, 
than  that  the  arm  of  the  Lord  was  powerfully 
and  marvellously  revealed  in  it. 

August  7.  Preached  to  the  Indians  from 
Is.  liii.  3 — 10.  There  was  a remarkable  in- 
fluence attending  the  word,  and  great  concern 
in  the  assembly;  but  scarcely  equal  to  what 
appeared  the  day  before;  that  is,  not  quite  so 
universal.  However,  most  were  much  affected, 
and  many  in  great  distress  for  their  souls;  and 
some  few  could  neither  go  nor  stand,  but  lay 
flat  on  the  ground  as  if  pierced  at  heart,  crying 
incessantly  for  mercy.  Several  were  newly 
awakened;  and  it  was  remarkable  that,  as  fast 
as  they  came  from  remote  places  round  about, 
the  Spirit  of  God  seemed  to  seize  them  with 
concern  for  their  souls.  After  public  service 
was  concluded,  I found  two  persons  more  who 
had  newly  met  with  comfort,  of  whom  I had 


brainerd’s  journal.  41 

good  hopes;  and  a third,  of  whom  I could  not 
but  entertain  some  hopes,  whose  case  did  not 
appear  as  clear  as  the  others;  so  that  that  there 
were  now  six  in  all  who  had  got  some  relief 
from  their  spiritual  distresses;  and  five,  whose 
experience  appeared  very  clear  and  satis- 
factory. It  is  worthy  of  remark,  that  those 
who  obtained  comfort  first,  were  in  general 
deeply  affected  with  concern  for  their  souls 
when  I preached  to  them  in  June  last. 

August  8.  In  the  afternoon  I preached  to 
the  Indians,  their  number  was  now  about  sixty - 
five  persons — men,  women  and  children.  I 
discoursed  upon  Luke  xiv.  16 — 23,  and  was 
favoured  with  uncommon  freedom  in  my  dis- 
course. There  was  much  visible  concern  among 
them,  while  I was  discoursing  publicly;  but 
afterwards,  when  I spoke  to  one  and  another 
more  particularly,  whom  I perceived  under 
much  concern,  the  power  of  God  seemed  to 
descend  upon  the  assembly  “ like  a mighty 
rushing  wind , ” and  with  an  astonishing  energy 
bore  down  all  before  it.  I stood  amazed  at  the 
influence,  which  seized  the  audience  almost 
universally;  and  could  compare  it  to  nothing 
more  aptly,  than  the  irresistible  force  of  a 
mighty  torrent,  or  a swelling  deluge,  that  with 
its  insupportable  weight  and  pressure  bears 
down  and  sweeps  before  it  whatever  comes  in 
its  way.  Almost  all  persons  of  all  ages  were 
bowed  down  with  concern  together,  and  scarce- 
ly one  was  able  to  withstand  the  shock  of  this 
surprising  operation.  Old  men  and  women, 
who  had  been  drunken  wretches  for  many 
years,  and  some  little  children,  not  more  than 


42 


SELECTIONS  EROM 


six  or  seven  years  of  age,  appeared  in  distress 
for  their  souls,  as  well  as  persons  of  middle 
age.  It  was  apparent  that  these  children, 
some  of  them  at  least,  were  not  merely  frighten- 
ed with  seeing  the  general  concern;  but  were 
made  sensible  of  their  danger,  the  badness  of 
their  hearts,  and  their  misery  without  Christ, 
as  some  of  them  express  it.  The  most  stub- 
born hearts  were  now  obliged  to  bow.  A 
principal  man  among  the  Indians,  who  before 
was  most  secure  and  self-righteous,  and  thought 
his  state  good,  because  he  knew  more  than  the 
generality  of  the  Indians  had  formerly  done, 
and  who  with  a great  degree  of  confidence  the 
day  before  told  me  “he  had  been  a Christian 
more  than  ten  years,”  was  now  brought  under 
solemn  concern  for  his  soul,  and  wept  bitterly. 
Another  man  advanced  in  years,  who  had  been 
a murderer,  a powaw  or  conjurer,  and  a no- 
torius  drunkard,  was  likewise  brought  now  to 
cry  for  mercy  with  many  tears,  and  to  com- 
plain much  that  he  could  be  no  more  concern- 
ed when  he  saw  his  danger  so  very  great. 

They  were  almost  universally  praying  and 
crying  for  mercy  in  every  part  of  the  house, 
and  many  out  of  doors;  and  numbers  could 
neither  go  nor  stand.  Their  concern  was  so 
great,  each  one  for  himself,  that  none  seemed 
to  take  any  notice  of  those  about  them,  but 
each  prayed  freely  for  himself.  I am 
led  to  think  they  were,  to  their  own  apprehen- 
sions, as  much  retired  as  if  they  had  been  in- 
dividually by  themselves,  in  the  thickest 
desert;  or  I believe  rather  that  they  thought 
nothing  about  anything  but  themselves,  and 


brainerd’s  JOURNAL,.  43 

their  own  state,  and  so  were  every  one  praying 
apart,  although  all  together.  It  seemed  to  me 
that  there  was  now  an  exact  fulfilment  of  that 
prophecy,  Zech.  xii.  io,  it,  12;  for  there  was 
now  “a  great  mourning,  like  the  mourning  of 
Hadadrimmon;” — and  each  seemed  to  “mourn 
apart.”  Methought  this  had  a near  re- 
semblance to  that  day  of  God’s  power,  mention- 
ed in  Josh.  x.  14;  for  I must  say  I never  saw 
any  day  like  it , in  all  respects:  it  was  a day 
wherein  I am  persuaded  the  Lord  did  much  to 
destroy  the  kingdom  of  darkness  among  this 
people. 

The  concern,  in  general,  was  most  rational 
and  just.  Those  who  had  been  awakened  any 
considerable  time,  complained  more  especially 
of  the  badness  of  their  hearts;  and  those  who 
were  newly  awakened,  of  the  the  badness  of 
their  lives  and  actions;  and  all  were  afraid  of 
the  anger  of  God,  and  of  everlasting  misery  as 
the  desert  of  their  sins.  Some  of  the  white 
people,  who  come  out  of  curiosity  to  hear  what 
“this  babbler  would  say”  to  the  poor  ignorant 
Indians,  were  much  awakened;  and  some 
appeared  to  be  wounded  with  a view  of  their 
perishing  state.  Those  who  had  lately  obtain- 
ed relief,  were  filled  with  comfort  at  this  sea- 
son. They  appeared  calm  and  composed,  and 
seemed  to  rejoice  in  Christ  Jesus.  Some  of 
them  took  their  distressed  friends  by  the  hand, 
telling  them  of  the  goodness  of  Christ,  and  the 
comfort  that  is  to  be  enjoyed  in  Him;  and  thence 
invited  them  to  come  and  give  up  their  hearts 
to  Him.  I could  observe  some  of  them,  in  the 
most  honest  and  unaffected  manner,  without 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


44 

any  design  of  being  taken  notice  of,  lifting  up 
their  eyes  to  heaven,  as  if  crying  for  mercy, 
while  they  saw  the  distress  of  the  poor  souls 
around  them. 

There  was  one  quite  remarkable  instance 
of  awakening  this  day  which  I cannot 
fail  to  notice  here.  A young  Indian  woman, 
who,  I believe,  never  knew  before  that  she  had 
a soul,  nor  ever  thought  of  any  such  thing, 
hearing  that  there  was  something  strange 
among  the  Indians,  came,  it  seems,  to  see  what 
was  the  matter.  On  her  way  to  the  Indians  she 
called  at  my  lodgings;  and  when  I told  her 
that  I designed  presently  to  preach  to  the 
Indians,  she  laughed,  and  seemed  to  mock;  but 
went  however  to  them.  I had  not  proceeded 
far  in  my  public  discourse  before  she  felt 
effectually  that  she  had  a soul;  and,  before  I 
had  concluded  my  discourse,  was  so  convinced 
of  her  sin  and  misery,  and  so  distressed  with 
concern  for  her  soul’s  salvation,  that  she  seem- 
ed like  one  pierced  through  with  a dart,  and 
she  cried  out  incessantly.  She  could  neither 
go  nor  stand,  nor  sit  on  her  seat  without  being 
held  up.  After  public  service  was  over,  she 
lay  flat  on  the  ground,  praying  earnestly,  and 
would  take  no  notice  of,  nor  give  any  answer 
to,  any  who  spoke  to  her.  I hearkened  to 
hear  what  she  said,  and  perceived  the  burden 
of  her  prayer  to  be,  “ Guttummaukalummeh 
wechaumeh  kmeleh  Nolah;,y  i.  z.,“Have  mercy 
on  me , and  help  me  give  You  my  heart .”  Thus 
she  continued  praying  incessantly  for  hours 
together.  This  was  indeed  a surprising  day  of 
God’s  power,  and  seemed  enough  to  convince 


brainerd’s  journal.  45 

an  atheist  of  the  truth,  importance,  and  power 
of  God’s  Word. 

August  9.  Spent  almost  the  whole  day 
with  the  Indians;  the  former  part  of  it  in  dis- 
coursing to  many  of  them  privately,  and 
especially  to  some  who  had  lately  received 
comfort,  and  endeavouring  to  inquire  into  the 
grounds  of  it,  as  well  as  to  give  them  some 
proper  instructions,  cautions  and  directions. 

In  the  afternoon  discoursed  to  them  public- 
ly. There  were  now  present  about  seventy 
persons,  old  and  young.  I opened  and  applied 
the  parable  of  the  sower,  Matt.  xiii.  Was 
enabled  to  discourse  with  much  plainness,  and 
found  afterwards  that  this  discourse  was  very 
instructive  to  them.  There  were  many  tears 
among  them,  while  I was  discoursing  publicly, 
but  no  considerable  cry;  yet  some  were  much 
affected  with  a few  words  spoken  from  Matt, 
xii.  28:  Come  unto  Me,  all  ye  that  labour,  &c  , 

with  which  I concluded  my  discourse.  But, 
while  I was  discoursing  near  night  to  two  or  three 
of  the  awakened  persons,  a Divine  influence 
seemed  to  attend  what  was  spoken  to  them  in 
a powerful  manner;  which  caused  the  persons 
to  cry  out  in  anguish  of  soul,  although  I spoke 
not  a word  of  terror,  but  on  the  contrary,  set 
before  them  the  fulness  and  all-sufficiency  of 
Christ’s  merits,  and  His  willingness  to  save 
all  that  come  to  Him,  and  thereupon  pressed 
them  to  come  without  delay.  The  cry  of  these 
was  soon  heard  by  others,  who,  though  scatter- 
ed before,  immediately  gathered  round.  I 
then  proceeded  in  the  same  strain  of  gospel- 
invitation,  till  they  were  all  melted  into  tears 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


46 

and  cries,  except  two  or  three;  and  seemed  in 
the  greatest  distress  to  find  and  secure  an 
interest  in  the  great  Redeemer.  Some,  who 
had  little  more  than  a ruffle  made  in  their 
passions  the  day  before,  seemed  now  to  be 
deeply  affected  and  wounded  at  heart;  and  the 
concern  in  general  appeared  nearly  as  prevalent 
as  it  was  the  day  before.  There  was  indeed  a 
very  great  mourning  among  them,  and  yet 
every  one  seemed  to  mourn  apart . For  so 
great  was  their  concern,  that  almost  every 
one  was  praying  and  crying  for  himself,  as  if 
none  had  been  near.  “ Guttummaukalummeh ; 
guttumiuaukalummeh ,” — “ Have  mercy  upon 
me;  have  mercy  upon  me , ” was  the  com- 
mon cry.  It  was  very  affecting  to  see  the  poor 
Indians,  who  the  other  day  were  hallooing  and 
yelling  in  their  idolatrous  feasts  and  drunken 
frolics,  now  crying  to  God  with  such  impor- 
tunity for  an  interest  in  His  dear  Son! — Found 
two  or  three  persons  who,  I had  reason  to 
hope,  had  taken  comfort  upon  good  grounds 
since  the  evening  before;  and  these,  with 
others  who  had  obtained  comfort,  were 
together,  and  seemed  to  rejoice  much  that 
God  was  carrying  on  His  work  with  such  power 
upon  others.  

Aug.  24 . SPENT  THE  FORENOON  in  discoursing 
to  some  of  the  Indians,  in  order  to  their  receiv- 
ing the  ordinance  of  baptism . When  I had 
opened  the  nature  of  the  ordinance,  the  obliga- 
tions attending  it,  the  duty  of  devoting  our- 
selves to  God  in  it,  and  the  privilege  of  being 
in  covenant  with  Him;  numbers  of  them  seemed 
to  be  filled  with  love  to  God,  delighted  with 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  47 

the  thoughts  of  giving  themselves  up  to  Him 
in  that  solemn  and  public  manner,  and  melted 
and  refreshed  with  the  hopes  of  enjoying  the 
blessed  Redeemer.  Afterwards,  I discoursed 
publicly  from  i Thess.  iv.  13 — 17:  But  I would 
not  have  you  be  ignorant , &c.  There  was  a 
solemn  attention,  and  some  visible  concern 
and  affection  in  the  time  of  public  service; 
which  was  afterwards  increased  by  some  further 
exhortations  given  to  them  to  come  to  Christ, 
and  give  up  their  hearts  to  Him,  that  they 
might  be  fitted  to  “ascend  up  and  meet  Him  in 
the  air,’’  when  He  shall  “descend  with  a shout, 
and  the  voice  of  the  archangel.’’ 

There  were  several  Indians  newly  come, 
who  thought  their  state  good,  and  themselves 
happy,  because  they  had  sometimes  lived  with 
the  white  people  under  gospel  light,  had 
learned  to  read,  were  civil,  &c.,  although  they 
appeared  utter  strangers  to  their  own  hearts,  and 
altogether  unacquainted  with  the  power  of 
religion,  as  well  as  with  the  doctrines  of  grace. 
With  these  I discoursed  particularly  after 
public  worship;  and  was  surprised  to  see  their 
self-righteous  dispositions,  their  strong  attach- 
ment to  the  covenant  of  works  for  salvation, 
and  the  high  value  they  put  upon  their  sup- 
posed attainments.  Yet,  after  much  discourse, 
one  appeared  in  a measure  convinced  that  “by 
the  deeds  of  the  law  no  flesh  living  can  be 
justified”;  and  wept  bitterly,  inquiring  what 
he  must  do  to  be  saved . 

This  was  very  comfortable  to  those  who 
had  gained  some  experimental  knowledge  of 
their  own  hearts;  for,  before,  they  were  grieved 


48  SELECTIONS  FROM 

with  the  conversation  and  conduct  of  these 
new  comers,  who  boasted  of  their  knowledge, 
and  thought  well  of  themselves,  but  who 
evidently  discovered  to  those  who  had  any 
experience  of  Divine  truths  that  they  knew 
nothing  of  their  own  hearts. 

Lord's  Day , Aug.  25.  After  the  crowd 
of  spectators  was  gone,  I called  the  baptized 
persons  together,  and  discoursed  to  them 
in  particular;  at  the  same  time  inviting  others 
to  attend.  I reminded  them  of  the  solemn 
obligations  they  were  now  under  to 
live  to  God;  warned  them  of  the  evil  and 
dreadful  consequences  of  careless  living,  es- 
pecially after  their  public  profession  of  Chris- 
tianity; gave  them  directions  for  future  con- 
duct; and  encouraged  them  to  watchfulness 
and  devotion,  by  setting  before  them  the  com- 
fort and  happy  conclusion  of  a religious  life. 

This  was  a desirable  and  sweet  season 
indeed!  Their  hearts  were  engaged  and  cheer- 
ful in  duty;  and  they  rejoiced  that  they  had, 
in  a public  and  solemn  manner,  dedicated 
themselves  to  God.  Love  seemed  to  reign 
among  them!  They  took  each  other  by  the 
hand  with  tenderness  and  affection,  as  if  their 
hearts  were  knit  together,  while  I was  dis- 
coursing to  them;  and  all  their  deportment 
towards  each  other  was  such,  that  a serious 
spectator  might  justly  be  excited  to  cry  out 
with  admiration,  “Behold  how  they  love  one 
another!’’  Numbers  of  the  other  Indians,  on 
seeing  and  hearing  these  things,  were  much 
affected,  and  wept  bitterly;  longing  to  be  par- 
takers of  the  same  joy  and  comfort,  which 


49 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL. 

these  discovered  by  their  very  countenances,  as 
well  as  by  their  conduct.  I rode  to  my  lodgings 
in  the  evening,  blessing  the  Lord  for  His 
gracious  visitation  of  the  Indians,  and  the 
soul-refreshing  things  I had  seen  the  days 
past  among  them;  and  praying  that  God  would 
still  carry  on  His  Divine  work  among  them. 

BEING  now  convinced  that  it  was  my  duty 
to  take  a journey  far  back  to  the  Indians  on  the 
Susquehannah,  it  being  now  a proper  season  of 
the  year  to  find  them  generally  at  home  ; after 
having  spent  some  hours  in  public  and  private 
discourse  with  my  people,  I told  them  that  I 
must  now  leave  them  for  the  present,  and  go  to 
their  brethren  far  remote,  and  preach  to  them  ; 
that  I wanted  the  Spirit  of  God  should  go  with 
5 me,  without  whom  nothing  could  be  done  to 
. any  good  purpose  among  the  Indians — as  they 
themselves  had  opportunity  to  see  and  observe 
by  the  barrenness  of  our  meetings  at  some- 
times, when  there  was  much  pains  taken  to 
affect  and  awaken  sinners,  and  yet  to  little  or 
no  purpose.  I asked  them  if  they  would  not 
be  willing  to  spend  the  remainder  of  the  day  in 
prayer  for  me,  that  God  would  go  with  me,  and 
prosper  my  endeavours  for  the  conversion  of 
these  poor  souls.  They  cheerfully  complied 
with  the  motion,  and  soon  after  I left  them,  the 
sun  being  about  an  hour  and  a half  high  at 
night,  they  began,  and  they  continued  praying 
till  break  of  day,  or  very  near:  never  mistrusting, 
as  they  tell  me,  till  they  went  out  and  viewed 
the  stars,  and  saw  the  morning  star  a consider- 
able height,  that  it  was  later  than  bed  time. 
Thus  eager  and  unwearied  were  they  in  their 


50 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


devotions ! A remarkable  night  it  was ; at- 
tended, as  my  Interpreter  tells  me,  with  a 
powerful  influence  upon  those  who  were  yet 
under  concern,  as  well  as.  those  who  had  re- 
ceived comfort.  There  were,  I trust,  this  day, 
two  distressed  souls  brought  to  the  enjoyment 
of  solid  comfort  in  Him  in  whom  the  weary  find 
rest.  It  was  likewise  remarkable,  that  this  day 
an  old  Indian,  who  had  all  his  days  been  an 
idolater,  was  brought  to  give  up  his  rattles, 
which  they  used  for  music  in  their  idolatrous 
feasts  and  dances,  to  the  other  Indians,  who 
quickly  destroyed  them.  This  was  done  with- 
out any  attempt  of  mine  in  the  affair,  I having 
said  nothing  to  him  about  it,  so  that  it  seemed 
to  be  nothing  but  the  power  of  God’s  Word, 
without  any  particular  application  to  this  sin, 
that  produced  this  effect.  Thus  God  has  be- 
gun ; thus  He  has  hitherto  surprisingly  carried 
on  a work  of  grace  amongst  these  Indians. 
May  the  glory  be  ascribed  to  Him  who  is  the 
sole  Author  of  it! 

I went  from  the  Indians  to  my  lodgings,  re- 
joicing for  the  goodness  of  God  to  my  poor 
people  ; and  enjoyed  freedom  of  soul  in  prayer, 
and  other  duties,  in  the  evening.  Bless  the 
Lord,  O my  soul ! 

Forks  of  Delaware,  Pennsylvania , 
Sept.  1745. 

Lord's  Day , Sept . /.  Preached  to  the  In- 
dians from  Luke  xi.  16-23.  The  word  appeared 
to  be  attended  with  some  power,  and  caused 
some  tears  in  the  assembly.  Afterwards 
preached  to  a number  of  white  people  present. 


BRAINKRD’S  JOURNAL.  51 

and  observed  many  of  them  in  tears  ; and  some 
who  had  formerly  been  as  careless  and  uncon- 
cerned about  religion,  perhaps,  as  the  Indians. 
Toward  night,  discoursed  to  the  Indians  again, 
and  preceived  a greater  attention,  and  more 
visible  concern  among  them,  than  has  been 
usual  in  these  parts.  God  gave  me  the  spirit  of 
prayer,  and  it  was  a blessed  season  in  that 
respect. 

Sept.  j.  Discoursed  to  the  Indians  from 
the  parable  of  the  sower.  Afterwards  I con- 
versed particularly  with  sundry  persons  ; which 
occasioned  them  to  weep,  and  even  to  cry  out 
in  an  affecting  manner;  which  caused  others  to 
be  seized  with  surprise  and  concern.  I doubt 
not  but  that  a Divine  power  accompanied  what 
was  then  spoken.  Several  of  these  persons  had 
been  with  me  to  Crossweeksung  ; and  there  had 
seen,  and  some  of  them,  I trust,  felt,  the  power 
of  God’s  Word,  in  an  affecting  and  saving  man- 
ner. I asked  one  of  them,  who  had  obtained 
comfort  and  given  hopeful  evidences  of  being 
truly  religious,  “ Why  he  now  cried  ?”  He  re- 
plied, “ When  he  thought  how  Christ  was  slain 
like  a lamb,  and  spilt  his  blood  for  sinners,  he 
could  not  help  crying,  when  he  was  alone”; 
and  thereupon  burst  into  tears,  and  cried 
again.  I then  asked  his  wife,  who  had  likewise 
been  abundantly  comforted,  why  she  cried  ? 
She  answered,  “ that  she  was  grieved  that  the 
Indians  here  would  not  come  to  Christ,  as  well 
as  those  at  Crossweeksung.”  I asked  her  if  she 
found  a heart  to  pray  for  them  ; and  whether 
Christ  had  seemed  to  be  near  her  of  late  in 
prayer,  as  in  times  past:  which  is  my  usual 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


52 

method  of  expressing  a sense  of  the  Divine 
presence.  She  replied,  “ Yes,  He  had  been  near 
her,  and  at  times  when  she  had  been  praying 
alone,  her  heart  loved  to  pray  so,  that  she 
could  not  bear  to  leave  the  place,  but  wanted 
to  stay  and  pray  longer.” 

Lord's  Day,  Sept.  8.  Discoursed  to  the  In- 
dians in  the  afternoon  from  Acts  ii.  36-39. 
The  Word  of  God  at  this  time  seemed  to  fall 
with  weight  and  influence  upon  them.  There 
were  but  few  present  ; but  most  that  were, 
were  in  tears  ; and  several  cried  out  in  distress- 
ing concern  for  their  souls.  There  was  one 
man  considerably  awakened,  who  never  before 
discovered  any  concern  for  his  soul.  There  ap- 
peared a remarkable  work  of  the  Divine  Spirit 
among  them  generally,  not  unlike  what  has 
been  of  late  at  Crossweeksung.  It  seemed  as 
if  the  Divine  influence  had  spread  thence  to 
this  place  ; although  something  of  it  appeared 
here  before  in  the  awakening  of  my  Interpre- 
ter, his  wife,  and  some  few  others.  Several 
of  the  careless  white  people  now  present  were 
awakened,  or  at  least  startled,  at  seeing  the 
power  of  God  so  prevalent  among  the  Indians.  I 
then  made  a particular  address  to  them,  which 
seemed  to  make  some  impression  upon  them, 
and  excite  some  affection  in  them. 

There  are  sundry  Indians  in  these  parts,  who 
have  always  refused  to  hear  me  preach,  and 
have  been  enraged  against  those  who  have  at- 
tended on  my  preaching.  But  of  late  they  are 
more  bitter  than  ever,  scoffing  at  Christianity, 
and  sometimes  asking  my  hearers,  “ How  often 
they  have  cried?”  and,  ‘‘Whether  they  have 


BRAINKRD’S  JOURNAL.  53 

not  now  cried  enough  to  do  their  turn?”  &c. 
So  that  the  Christians  are  already  having 
trial  of  cruel  mockings. 

In  the  evening,  God  was  pleased  to  assist  me 
in  prayer,  and  give  me  freedom  at  the  throne 
of  grace.  I cried  to  God  for  the  enlargement 
of  His  kingdom  in  the  world,  and  in  particular 
among  my  dear  people;  was  also  enabled  to 
pray  for  many  dear  ministers  of  my  acquaint- 
ance, both  in  these  parts,  and  in  New  England, 
and  also  for  other  dear  friends  in  New  England. 
My  soul  was  so  engaged  and  enlarged  in  the 
sweet  exercise,  that  I spent  an  hour  in  it,  and 
knew  not  how  to  leave  the  mercy  seat.  Oh 
how  I delighted  to  pray  and  cry  to  God  ! I saw 
that  God  was  both  able  and  willing  to  do  all 
that  I desired  for  myself,  and  His  Church  in 
general.  I was  likewise  much  enlarged  and 
assisted  in  family  prayer.  Afterwards,  when  I 
was  just  going  to  bed,  God  helped  me  to  renew 
my  petition,  with  ardour  and  freedom.  Oh,  it 
was  to  me  a blessed  evening  of  prayer  ! Bless 
the  Lord,  O my  soul! 

Sept.  9.  Left  the  Indians  at  the  Forks  of 
Delaware,  and  set  out  on  a journey  toward 
Susquehannah  River ; directing  my  course  to- 
wards an  Indian  town  more  than  a hundred 
and  twenty  miles  westward  from  the  Forks. 

Shaumoking,  Sept.  1745. 

Sept.  13.  After  having  lodged  out  three 
nights,  arrived  at  the  Indian  town  I aimed  at 
on  the  Susquehannah,  called  Shaumoking ; 
one  of  the  places  (and  the  largest  of  them) 
which  I visited  in  May  last.  I was  kindly 
received,  and  entertained  by  the  Indians;  but 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


54 

had  little  satisfaction,  by  reason  of  the 
heathenish  dance  and  revel  they  then  held  in 
the  house  where  I was  obliged  to  lodge;  which  I 
could  not  suppress,  though  I often  entreated 
them  to  desist,  for  the  sake  of  one  of  their  own 
friends  who  was  then  sick  in  the  house,  and 
whose  disorder  was  much  aggravated  by  the 
noise.  Alas  ! how  destitute  of  natural  affection 
are  these  poor  uncultivated  Pagans!  although 
they  seemed  somewhat  kind  in  their  own  way. 
Of  a truth  the  dark  places  of  the  earth  are  full  of 
the  habitation  of  cruelty.  The  Indians  of  this 
place  are  accounted  the  most  drunken, 
mischievous,  and  ruffianlike  fellows,  of  any  in 
these  parts  ; and  Satan  seems  to  have  his  seat  in 
this  town  in  an  eminent  manner. 

Sept.  20.  ' Visited  the  Indians  again,  and 
found  them  almost  universally  very  busy  in 
making  preparations  for  a great  sacrifice  and 
dance.  Had  no  opportunity  to  get  them  to- 
gether, in  order  to  discourse  with  them  about 
Christianity,  by  reason  of  their  being  so  much 
engaged  about  their  sacrifice.  However,  I 
attempted  to  discourse  privately  with  some  of 
them,  but  without  any  appearance  of  success. 
Notwithstanding,  I still  tarried  with  them. 

In  the  evening  they  met  together,  nearly  a 
hundred  of  them,  and  danced  around  a large 
fire,  having  prepared  ten  fat  deer  for  the  sacri- 
fice. The  fat  of  the  inwards  they  burnt  in  the 
fire  while  they  were  dancing,  and  sometimes 
raised  the  flame  to  a prodigious. height;  at  the 
same  time  yelling  and  shouting  in  such  a 
manner,  that  they  might  easily  have  been  heard 
two  miles  or  more.  They  continued  their 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  55 

sacred  dance  nearly  all  night,  after  which  they 
ate  the  flesh  of  the  sacrifice,  and  so  retired  each 
one  to  his  own  lodging. 

I enjoyed  little  satisfaction;  being  entirely 
alone  on  the  island  as  to  any  Christian  com- 
pany, and  in  the  midst  of  this  idolatrous  revel; 
and  having  walked  to  and  fro  till  body  and 
mind  were  pained  and  much  oppressed,  I at 
length  crept  into  a little  crib  made  for  corn, 
and  there  slept  on  the  poles. 

Crossweek  sung,  Oct.  1745. 

Oct.  5.  Preached  to  my  people  from  John 
xiv.  1 — 6.  The  Divine  presence  seemed  to 
be  in  the  assembly.  Numbers  were  affected 
with  Divine  truths,  and  it  was  a comfort  to 
some  in  particular.  Oh  what  a difference  is 
there  between  these,  and  the  Indians  with 
whom  I have  lately  treated  upon  the  Susque* 
liannah!  To  be  with  those  seemed  to  be  like 
being  banished  from  God  and  all  His  people; 
to  be  with  these,  like  being  admitted  into  His 
family,  and  to  the  enjoyment  of  His  Divine 
presence!  How  great  is  the  change  lately 
made  upon  numbers  of  those  Indians,  who,  not 
many  months  ago,  were  as  thoughtless  and 
averse  to  Christianity  as  those  upon  the  Susque- 
hannah!  And  how  astonishing  is  that  grace, 
which  has  made  this  change! 

Lord's  Day , Oct.  6.  Preached  in  the  fore- 
noon from  John  x.  7 — 11.  There  was  a consider- 
able melting  among  my  people;  the  dear 
young  Christians  were  refreshed,  comforted 
and  strengthened;  and  one  or  two  persons 
newly  awakened.  — In  the  afternoon  I dis- 
coursed on  the  story  of  the  jailor,  Acts  xvi;  and  . 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


56 

in  the  evening,  expounded  Acts  xx.  1 — 12. 
There  was  at  this  time  a very  agreeable  melting 
spread  throughout  the  whole  assembly.  I 
think  I scarce  ever  saw  a more  desirable  affec- 
tion in  any  number  of  people  in  my  life. 
There  was  scarcely  a dry  eye  to  be  seen  among 
them;  and  yet  nothing  boisterous  or  unseemly, 
nothing  that  tended  to  disturb  the  public  wor- 
ship; but  rather  to  encourage  and  excite  a 
Christian  ardour  and  spirit  of  devotion. 

After  public  service  was  over,  I withdrew, 
being  much  tired  with  the  labours  of  the  day; 
and  the  Indians  continued  praying  among 
themselves  for  nearly  two  hours  together; 
which  continued  exercises  appeared  to  be 
attended  with  a blessed  quickening  influence 
from  on  high.  I could  not  but  earnestly  wish 
that  numbers  of  God’s  people  had  been  present 
at  this  season  to  see  and  hear  these  things, 
which  I am  sure  must  refresh  the  heart  of 
every  true  lover  of  the  Church’s  interests.  To 
see  those  who  were  very  lately  savage  Pagans 
and  idolaters,  having  no  hope,  and  without  God 
in  the  world,  now  filled  with  a sense  of  Divine 
love  and  grace,  and  worshiping  the  Father  in 
spirit  and  in  truth,  as  numbers  have  appeared 
to  do,  was  not  a little  affecting;  and  especially 
to  see  them  appear  so  tender  and  humble,  as 
well  as  lively,  fervent,  and  devout  in  the  Divine 
service. 

Oct . 24.  Discoursed  from  John  iv.  13,  14. 
There  was  a great  attention,  a desirable  affec 
tion,  and  an  unaffected  melting  in  the  assembly. 
It  is  surprising  to  see  how  eager  they  are 
to  hear  the  Word  of  God.  I have  oftentimes 


brainerd’s  journal.  57 

thought  that  they  would  cheerfully  and  dili- 
gently attend  Divine  worship  twenty-four  hours 
together  if  they  had  an  opportunity  so  to  do. 

Oct.  28.  Discoursed  from  Matt.  xxii.  1 — 13. 
I was  enabled  to  open  the  Scriptures,  and  adapt 
my  discourse  and  expression  to  the  capacities 
of  my  people,  I know  not  how , in  a plain,  easy, 
and  familiar  manner,  beyond  all  I could  have 
done  by  the  utmost  study:  and  this  without 
any  special  difficulty;  yea,  with  as  much  freedom 
as  if  I had  been  addressing  an  audience  of  people 
who  had  been  instructed  in  the  doctrines  of 
Christianity  all  their  days.  The  Word  of  God, 
at  this  time,  seemed  to  fall  upon  the  assembly 
with  a Divine  power  and  influence,  especially 
towards  the  close  of  my  discourse.  There  was 
both  a sweet  melting  and  bitter  mourning  in 
the  audience.  The  dear  Christians  were  re- 
freshed and  comforted,  convictions  revived  in 
others,  and  several  persons  newly  awakened, 
who  had  never  been  with  us  before.  So  much 
of  the  Divine  presence  appeared  in  the  as- 
sembly, that  it  seemed  ‘this  was  no  other  than 
the  house  of  God  and  the  gate  of  heaven.’  All 
who  had  any  savour  and  relish  of  Divine  things 
were  constrained  by  the  sweetness  of  that 
season  to  say,  “Lord,  it  is  good  for  us  to  be 
here.”  If  ever  there  was  among  my  people 
an  appearance  of  the  New  Jerusalem  “as  a 
bride  adorned  for  her  husband,”  there  was 
much  of  it  at  this  time,  and  so  agreeable  was 
the  entertainment,  where  such  tokens  of  the 
Divine  presence  were,  that  I could  scarcely  be 
willing  in  the  evening  to  leave,  and  repair  to 
my  lodgings.  I was  refreshed  with  a view  of 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


58 

the  continuance  of  this  blessed  work  among 
them,  and  with  its  influence  upon  the  strangers 
among  the  Indians,  who  had  of  late,  from  time 
to  time,  providentially  come  into  this  part  of 
the  country.  Had  an  evening  of  sweet  re- 
freshing; my  thoughts  were  raised  to  a blessed 
eternity;  my  soul  was  melted  with  desires  of 
perfect  holiness,  and  of  perfectly  glorifying  God. 

Lord's  Day , Nov.  3.  I baptized  fourteen 
persons  of  the  Indians.  One  of  these  was  nearly 
fourscore  years  of  age;  and  I have  reason  to 
hope,  that  God  has  brought  her  savingly  home 
to  Himself.  Two  of  the  others  were  men  of  fifty 
years  old,  who  had  been  singular  and  remark- 
able among  the  Indians  for  their  wickedness; 
one  of  them  had  been  a murderer,  and  both 
notorius  drunkards,  as  well  as  excessively 
quarrelsome;  but  now  I cannot  but  hope,  that 
both  of  them  have  become  subjects  of  God’s 
special  grace,  especially  the  worst  of  the  two.  I 
deferred  their  baptism  for  many  weeks  after 
they  had  given  evidence  of  having  passed  a 
great  change,  that  I might  have  more  opportuni- 
ties to  observe  the  fruits  of  the  impressions 
which  they  had  been  under;  and  I apprehended 
the  way  was  now  clear.  Those  whom  I 
baptized,  were  such  as  had  given  me  comfort- 
able grounds  to  hope  that  God  had  wrought  a 
work  of  special  grace  in  their  hearts;  although  I 
could  not  have  the  same  degree  of  satisfaction 
respecting  one  or  two  of  them  as  the  rest. 

Nov.  4.  Discoursed  from  John  xi.,  briefly 
explaining  most  of  the  chapter.  Divine  truths 
made  deep  jmpressions  upon  many  in  the  as- 


BRAINKRD’S  JOURNAL.  59 

setnbly.  Numbers  were  affected  with  a view*  of 
the  power  ot  Christ,  manifested  in  His  raising 
the  dead. 

There  were  numbers  of  those  who  had  come 
here  lately  from  remote  places,  who  were  now 
brought  under  deep  and  pressing  concern  for 
their  souls.  One  in  particular,  who,  not  long 
since,  came  half  drunk,  and  railed  on  us,  and 
attempted  by  all  means  to  disturb  us  while  en- 
gaged in  Divine  worship,  was  now  so  concerned 
and  distressed  for  her  soul,  that  she  seemed 
unable  to  get  any  ease  without  an  interest  in 
Christ.  There  were  many  tears  and 
affectionate  sobs  and  groans  in  the  assembly  in 
general;  some  weeping  for  themselves,  others 
for  their  friends.  Although  persons  are,  doubt- 
less, much  more  easily  affected  now  than  they 
were  in  the  beginning  of  this  religious  concern, 
when  tears  and  cries  for  their  souls  were  things 
unheard  of  among  them,  yet  I must  say,  that 
their  affection  in  general  appeared  genuine  and 
unfeigned;  and,  especially,  this  appeared  very 
conspicuous  in  those  newly  awakened.  So  that 
true  and  genuine  convictions  of  sin  seem  still 
to  be  begun  and  promoted  in  many  instances. 

IT  IS  remarkable,  that  God  began  this  work 
among  the  Indians  at  a time  when  I had  the 
least  hope,  and,  to  my  apprehension,  the  least 
rational  prospect,  of  seeing  a work  of  grace 
propagated  among  them:  my  bodily  strength 
being  then  much  wasted  by  a late  tedious 
journey  to  the  Susquehannah,  where  I was 
necessarily  exposed  to  hardships  and  fatigues 
among  the  Indians;  my  mind  being,  also,  ex- 
ceedingly depressed  with  a view  of  the  un- 


6o 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


successfulness  of  my  labours.  I had  little  reason 
so  much  as  to  hope,  that  God  had  made  me 
instrumental  in  the  saving  conversion  of  any 
of  the  Indians,  except  my  Interpreter  and  his 
wife.  Hence  I was  ready  to  look  upon  myself 
as  a burden  to  the  honourable  society  which 
employed  and  supported  me  in  this  business, 
and  began  to  entertain  serious  thoughts  of  giv- 
ing up  my  mission. 

My  hopes  respecting  the  conversion  of  the 
Indians  were  perhaps  never  reduced  to  so 
low  an  ebb,  since  I had  any  special  concern 
for  them,  as  at  this  time.  Yet  this  was  the 
very  season  in  which  God  saw  fit  to  begin  this 
glorious  work!  Thus  He  “ordained  strength 
out  of  weakness,”  by  making  bare  His  almighty 
arm,  at  a time  when  all  hopes  and  human 
probabilities  most  evidently  appeared  to  fail. 
Whence  I learn,  that  it  is  good  to  follow  the 
path  of  duty , though  in  the  midst  of  darkness 
and  discouragement . 

My  Interpreter  had  before  gained  some  good 
degree  of  doctrinal  knowledge,  whereby  he  was 
rendered  capable  of  understanding,  and  com- 
municating without  mistakes,  the  intent  and 
meaning  of  my  discourses,  and  that  without 
' being  confined  strictly  and  obliged  to  interpret 
verbatim.  He  had  likewise,  to  appearance,  an 
experimental  acquaintance  with  Divine  things; 
and  it  pleased  God  at  this  season  to  inspire  his 
mind  with  longing  desires  for  the  conversion  of 
the  Indians,  and  to  give  him  admirable  zeal  and 
fervency  in  addressing  them  in  order  thereto. 
It  is  remarkable,  that,  when  / was  favoured 
with  any  special  assistance  in  any  work,  and 


brainerd’s  journal.  6i 

enabled  to  speak  with  more  than  common  free- 
dom, fervency , and  power , under  a lively  and 
affecting  sense  of  Divine  things,  he  was  usually 
affected  in  the  same  manner  almost  instantly , 
and  seemed  at  once  quickened  and  enabled  to 
speak  in  the  same  pathetic  language,  and  under 
the  same  influence  that  I did.  A surprising 
energy  often  accompanied  the  word  at  such 
seasons  ; so  that  the  face  of  the  whole  assembly 
would  be  apparently  changed  almost  in  an  in- 
stant, and  tears  and  sobs  became  common 
among  them. 

But  still,  this  great  awakening,  this  sur- 
prising concern,  was  never  excited  by  any 
harangues  of  terror,  but  always  appeared  most 
remarkable  when  I insisted  upon  the  compassion 
of  a dying  Saviour,  the  plentiful  provisions  of 
the  gospel,  and  the  free  offers  of  Divine  grace 
to  needy,  distressed  sinners. 

The  effects  of  this  work  have  been  very 
remarkable.  I doubt  not  but  that  many  of  these 
people  have  gained  more  doctrinal  knowledge 
of  Divine  truths,  since  I have  first  visited  them 
in  June  last,  than  could  have  been  instilled  into 
their  minds  by  the  most  diligent  use  of  proper 
and  instructive  means  for  whole  years  together, 
without  such  a Divine  influence.  Their  pagan 
notions  and  idolatrous  practices  seem  to  be 
entirely  abandoned  in  these  parts.  They  seem 
generally  divorced  from  drunkenness , their 
darling  vice,  the  “sin  that  easily  besets  them;” 
so  that  I do  not  know  of  more  than  two  that 
have  been  my  steady  hearers,  who  have  drunk 
to  excess  since  I first  visited  them;  although, 
before,  it  was  common  for  some  or  other  of 


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them  to  be  drunk  almost  every  day  : and  some 
of  them  seem  now  to  fear  this  sin  in  particular 
more  than  death  itself.  A principle  of  honesty 
and  justice  appears  in  many  of  them  ; and  they 
seem  concerned  to  discharge  their  old  debts, 
which  they  have  neglected,  and  perhaps 
scarcely  thought  of  for  years  past.  Love  seems 
to  reign  among  them,  especially  those  who 
have  given  evidences  of  having  passed  a saving 
change  : and  I never  saw  any  appearance  of 
bitterness  or  censoriousness  in  these,  nor  any 
disposition  to  “esteem  themselves  better  than 
others.” 

As  their  sorrows  under  convictions  have 
been  great  and  pressing,  so  many  of  them  have 
since  appeared  to  “rejoice  with  joy  unspeak- 
able, and  full  of  glory  ; ” and  yet  I never  saw 
any  thing  ecstatic  or  flighty  in  their  joy.  Their 
consolations  do  not  incline  them  to  lightness  ; 
but,  on  the  contrary,  are  attended  with  solemn- 
ity, and  oftentimes  with  tears,  and  an  apparent 
brokenness  of  heart.  In  this  respect,  some  of 
them  have  been  surprised  at  themselves,  and 
have  with  concern  observed  to  me,  that  “ when 
their  hearts  have  been  glad,”  (which  is  a phrase 
they  commonly  make  use  of  to  express  spiritual 
joy, ) “ they  could  not  help  crying  for  all.” 

June  iq , 174.6.  This  day  makes  up  a complete 
year  from  the  first  time  of  my  preaching  to 
these  Indians  in  New  Jersey.  What  amazing 
things  has  God  wrought  in  this  space  of  time, 
for  this  poor  people  ! What  a surprising  change 
appears  in  their  tempers  and  behaviour  ! How 
are  morose  and  savage  Pagans,  in  this  short 
period,  transformed  into  agreeable,  affectionate, 


brainerd’s  journae.  63 

and  humble  Christians,  and  their  drunken  and 
Pagan  howlings  turned  into  devout  and  fervent 
praises  to  God!  They  ‘who  were  sometimes 
darkness  are  now  become  light  in  the  Lord.’ 
May  they  ‘ walk  as  children  of  the  light  and  of 
the  day  !’  And  now  to  Him  that  is  of  power  to 
establish  them  according  to  the  gospel,  and  the 
preaching  of  Christ — to  God  only  wise,  be  glory 
through  Jesus  Christ,  for  ever  and  ever,  Amen. 

Brainerd’s  health  now  began  rapidly  to 
give  way  under  consumption,  largely  due, 
doubtless,  to  his  constant  labors  amid  fre= 
quent  exposures  and  great  difficulties.  Like 
Epaphroditus,  in  Philippians  11.,  he  had 
“hazarded  his  life”  for  the  gospel  of  Christ, 
and  was  now  “nigh  unto  death.”  He  at 
last  felt  it  best  to  leave  his  Indians  for  a time 
"of  rest  in  New  England,  among  his  friends: 

Lord's  Day , October  5.  Was  still  very 
weak;  and  in  the  morning  considerably  afraid 
I should  not  be  able  to  go  through  the  work  of 
the  day;  having  much  to  do,  both  in  private 
and  public.  Discoursed  before  the  administra- 
tion of  the  sacrament,  from  John  i.  29:  ‘Behold 
the  Lamb  of  God,  that  taketh  awTay  the  sins  of 
the  world.’  The  Divine  presence  attended  this 
discourse;  and  the  assembly  wTas  considerably 
melted  with  Divine  truths.  After  sermon,  bap- 
tized two  persons.  Administered  the  Lord’s 
supper  to  the  Indians,  besides  divers  dear 
Christians  of  the  white  people.  It  seemed  to 
be  a season  of  Divine  power  and  grace;  and 
numbers  seemed  to  rejoice  in  God.  Oh  the 
sweet  union  and  harmony  then  appearing  among 
the  religious  people  ! My  soul  was  refreshed, 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


64 

and  my  religious  friends,  of  the  white  people, 
with  me.  After  the  sacrament,  could  scarcely 
get  home,  though  it  was  not  more  than  twenty 
rods;  but  was  supported  and  led  by  my  friends, 
and  laid  on  my  bed;  where  I lay  in  pain  till 
some  time  in  the  evening;  and  then  was  able  to 
sit  up  and  discourse  with  friends.  O how  was 
this  day  spent  in  prayers  and  praises  among  my 
dear  people!  One  might  hear  them,  all  the 
morning  before  public  worship,  and  in  the 
evening,  till  near  midnight,  praying  and  sing- 
ing praises  to  God,  in  one  or  other  of  their 
houses.  My  soul  was  refreshed,  though  my 
body  was  weak. 

November 3.  Being  now  in  so  weak  and  low 
a state,  that  I was  utterly  incapable  of  perform- 
ing my  work,  and  having  little  hope  of  recovery, 
unless  by  much  riding,  I thought  it  my  duty 
to  take  a long  journey  into  New  England,  and 
to  divert  myself  among  my  friends,  whom  I 
had  not  now  seen  for  a long  time.  Accordingly 
I took  leave  of  my  congregation  this  day.  Be- 
fore I left  my  people,  I visited  them  all  in  their 
respective  houses,  and  discoursed  to  each  one, 
as  I thought  most  proper  and  suitable  for  their 
circumstances,  and  found  great  freedom  and 
assistance  in  so  doing.  I scarcely  left  one  house 
but  some  were  in  tears;  and  many  were  not  only 
affected  with  my  being  about  to  leave  them, 
but  with  the  solemn  addresses  I made  them  upon 
divine  things;  for  I was  helped  to  be. fervent  in 
spirit , while  I discoursed  to  them. 

He  was  not  able  to  to  visit  his  beloved 
Indians  again.  He  travelled,  by  slow  stages, 
on  to  New  England,  arriving  at  the  home 


brainerd’s  journal.  65 

of  Jonathan  Edwards,  in  Northampton, 
Mass.,  in  the  Spring.  Thence  he  went  to 
Boston  for  some  weeks;  but  returned  dur- 
ing the  summer  to  fir.  Edward’s  family, 
where  he  died,  in  the  fall  of  this  year  (1747 ). 
The  following  letters  were  written  a short 
time  before  he  departed  this  life: 

To  Israel  Brainerd , his  brother , then 
in  College: 

My  Dear  Brother: 

It  is  on  the  verge  of  Eternity  I how  address 
you.  I am  heartily  sorry  that  I have  so  little 
strength  to  write  what  I long  so  much  to  com- 
municate to  you.  But,  let  me  tell  you,  my 
brother,  Eternity  is  another  thing  than  we 
ordinarily  take  it  to  be  when  in  a healthful  state. 

, Oh,  how  fixed  and  unalterable!  Oh,  of  what 
infinite  importance  it  is,  that  we  be  prepared 
for  Eternity!  I have  been  just  a dying,  now  for 
more  than  a week;  and  all  around  me  have 
thought  me  so.  I have  had  clear  views  of  Eter- 
nity, have  seen  the  blessedness  of  th z godly,  in 
some  measure;  and  have  longed  to  share  their 
happy  state;  as  well  as  been  comfortably  satis- 
fied, that  through  grace,  I shall  do  so;  but  oh, 
what  anguish  is  raised  in  my  mind,  to  think  of 
Eternity  for  those  who  are  Christie ss,  for  those 
who  are  mistaken,  and  who  bring  their  false 
hopes  to  the  grave  with  them  ! The  sight  was 
so  dreadful,  I could  by  no  means  bear  it:  my 
thoughts  recoiled,  and  I said,  under  a more 
affecting  sense  than  ever  before,  ‘Who  can 
dwell  with  everlastingburnings!’  Oh,methought, 
could  I now  see  my  friends,  that  I may  warn 


66 


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them  to  see  to  it,  that  they  lay  their  foundation 
for  Eternity  sure.  And  for  you,  my  dear 
brother,  I have  been  particularly  concerned; 
and  have  wondered  why  I so  much  neglected 
conversing  with  you  about  your  spiritual  state 
at  our  last  meeting.  Oh,  my  brother,  let  me 
then  beseech  you  now  to  examine  whether  you 
are  indeed  a a new  creature? 

If  you  cannot  answer  positively,  consider 
seriously  the  frequent  breathings  of  your  soul; 
but  do  not,  however,  put  yourself  off  with  a 
slight  answer.  If  you  have  reason  to  think  you 
are  graceless , O give  yourself  and  the  throne 
of  grace  no  rest,  till  God  arise  and  save.  But 
if  the  case  should  be  otherwise,  bless  God  for 
His  grace,  and  press  after  holiness. 

My  soul  longs,  that  you  should  be  fitted  for, 
and  in  due  time  go  into  the  work  of  the  min- 
istry. I cannot  bear  to  think  of  your  going 
into  any  other  business  in  life.  Do  not  be  dis- 
couraged, because  you  see  your  elder  brothers 
in  the  ministry  die  early , one  after  another.  I 
declare,  now  I am  dying,  I would  not  have 
spent  my  life  otherwise  for  the  whole  world. 

O my  dear  brother,  flee  fleshy  lusts , and  the 
enchanting  amusements  as  well  as  the  corrupt 
doctrines  of  the  present  day,  and  strive  to  live 
to  God.  Take  this  as  the  last  line  from 

Your  affectionate  and  dying  brother, 

David  Brainerd. 

To  a Student  for  the  Ministry , whom 
Brainerd  specially  loved: 

Very  Dear  Sir: 

How  amazing  it  is,  that  the  living,  who  know 


brainerd’s  journal.  67 

they  must  die,  should,  notwithstanding,  ‘put 
far  away  the  evil’,  in  a season  of  health  and 
prosperity;  and  live  at  such  an  awful  distance 
from  a familiarity  with  the  grave,  and  with  the 
great  concerns  beyond  it!  Especially,  it  may 
justly  fill  us  with  surprise,  that  any  whose 
minds  have  been  Divinely  enlightened  to  behold 
the  important  things  of  eternity  as  they  are,  I 
say,  that  such  should  live  in  this  manner.  And 
yet  how  frequently  is  this  the  case!  How  rare 
are  the  instances  of  those  who  live  and  act, 
from  day  to  day,  as  on  the  verge  of  Eternity! 
striving  to  fill  up  all  their  remaining  moments 
in  the  service  and  to  the  honor  of  their  great 
Master!  We  insensibly  trifle  away  time , while 
we  seem  to  have  enough  of  it;  and  are  so 
strangely  amused  as  in  a great  measure  to  lose 
a sense  of  the  holiness  and  blessed  qualifications 
necessary  to  prepare  us  to  be  inhabitants  of  the 
heavenly  paradise . But  O dear  Sir,  a dying 
bed , if  we  enjoy  our  reason  clearly,  will  give 
another  view  of  things.  I have  now,  for  more 
than  three  weeks,  lain  under  the  greatest  degree 
of  weakness;  the  greater  part  of  the  time,  ex- 
pecting daily  and  hourly  to  enter  into  the 
eternal  world:  sometimes  have  been  so  far  gone, 
as  to  be  wholly  speechless,  for  some  hours  to- 
gether. Oh,  of  what  vast  importance  has  a holy 
spiritual  life  appeared  to  me  at  this  season!  I 
have  longed  to*  call  upon  all  my  friends,  to 
make  it  their  business  to  live  to  God;  and 
especially  all  that  are  designed  for,  or  engaged 
in,  the  service  of  the  sanctuary.  O dear  Sir, 
do  not  think  it  enough,  to  live  at  the  rate  of 
common  Christians.  Alas,  to  how  little  pur- 
pose do  they  often  converse,  when  they  meet 


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together!  The  visits , even  of  those  who  are 
called  Christians  indeed,  are  frequently  ex- 
tremely barren : and  conscience  cannot  but 
condemn  us  for  the  misimprovement  of  time, 
while  we  have  been  conversant  with  them. 
But  the  way  to  enjoy  the  Divine  presence,  and 
to  be  fitted  for  distinguishing  service  for  God, 
is  to  live  a life  of  great  devotion  and  constant 
self-dedication  to  Him;  observing  the  motions 
and  dispositions  of  our  own  hearts,  whence  we 
may  learn  our  constant  need  ofhelp  from  God  for 
the  performance  of  the  least  duty.  And  O dear 
Sir,  let  me  beseech  you  frequently  to  attend  to 
the  great  and  precious  duties  of  secret  fasting 
and  prayer . 

I have  a secret  thought,  from  some  things 
I have  observed,  that  God  may  perhaps  design 
you  for  some  singular  service  in  the  world.  O, 
then,  labour  to  be  prepared  and  qualified  to  do 
much  for  God.  Read  Mr.  Edwards’  piece  on 
the  Affections,  again  and  again;  and  labour  to 
distinguish  clearly  between  experiences  and  af- 
fections in  religion,  that  you  may  make  a dif- 
ference between  the  gold  and  the  shining  dross. 
I say,  labour  here,  if  ever  you  would  be  an  use- 
ful minister  of  Christ;  for  nothing  has  put  such 
a stop  to  the  work  of  God  in  the  late  day  as  the 
false  religion,  and  the  wild  affections  which 
attend  it.  Suffer  me,  therefore,  finally  to  en- 
treat you  earnestly  to  give  yourself  to  pray- 
er, to  reading  and  meditation  on  divine  truths. 
Strive  to  penetrate  to  the  bottom  of  them,  and 
never  be  content  with  a superficial  knowledge. 
By  this  means,  your  thoughts  will  gradually 
grow  weighty  and  judicious;  and  you  hereby 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  69 

will  be  possessed  of  a valuable  treasure , out  of 
which  you  may  produce  ‘things  new  and  old,* 
to  the  glory  of  God. 

And  now,  ‘I  commend  you  to  the  grace  of 
God,’  earnestly  desiring,  that  a plentiful  por- 
tion of  the  divine  Spirit  may  rest  upon  you; 
that  you  may  live  to  God  in  every  capacity  of 
life,  and  do  abundant  service  for  him  in  a pub- 
lic one,  if  it  be  His  will;  and  that  you  may  be 
richly  qualified  for  the  ‘inheritance  of  the  saints 
in  light.’— I scarce  expect  to  see  your  face  any 
more  in  the  body,  and  therefore  entreat  you  to 
accept  this  as  the  last  token  of  love  from 

Your  sincerely  affectionate  dying  friend, 

David  Brainerd. 

To  the  Rev.  John  Brainerd , his  brother , 
then  laboring  among  the  Indians 
of  New  Jersey : 

Dear  Brother'. 

I am  now  just  on  the  verge  of  Eternity , ex- 
pecting very  speedily  to  appear  in  an  unseen 
world.  I feel  myself  no  more  an  inhabitant  of 
earth,  and  sometimes  earnestly  long  to  ‘depart 
and  be  with  Christ.’  I bless  God,  He  has  for 
som z years  given  me  an  abiding  conviction  that 
it  is  impossible  for  any  rational  creature  to  en- 
joy true  happiness,  without  being  entirely  de- 
voted to  Him.  Under  the  influence  of  this 
conviction  I have  in  some  measure  acted.  Oh, 
that  I had  done  so  more!  I saw  both  the  excel- 
lency and  necessity  of  holiness  in  life;  but  never 
in  such  a manner  as  now,  when  I am  just 
brought  from  the  sides  of  the  grave.  O,  my 
brother,  pursue  after  holiness',  press  towards 


70 


SELECTIONS  FROM 


this  blessed  mark;  and  let  your  thirsty  soul 
continually  say,  ‘I  shall  never  be  satisfied  till  I 
awake  in  Thy  likeness.”  Although  there  has 
been  a great  deal  of  selfishness  in  my  views,  of 
which  I am  ashamed,  and  for  which  my  soul  is 
humbled  at  every  view;  yet,  blessed  be  God? 
I find  I have  really  had,  for  the  most  part,  such 
a concern  for  His  glory , and  the  advancement 
of  His  kingdom  in  the  world,  that  it  is  a satis^ 
faction  to  me  to  reflect  upon  these  years. 

And  now,  my  dear  brother,  as  I must  press 
you  to  pursue  after  personal  holiness,  to  be  as 
much  in  fasting  and  prayer  as  your  health  will 
allow,  and  to  live  above  the  rate  of  common 
Christians;  so  I must  entreat  you  solemnly  to 
attend  to  your  public  work ; labour  to  distinguish 
between  true  and  false  religion;  and  to  that  end 
watch  the  motions  of  God’s  Spirit  upon  your 
own  heart.  Look  to  Him  for  help;  and  im- 
partially compare  your  experiences  with  His 
Word.  Read  Mr.  Edwards  on  the  Affections; 
where  the  essence  and  soul  of  religion  is  clearly 
distinguished  from  false  affections.  I fear  you 
are  not  sufficiently  aware  how  much  false  re- 
ligion there  is  in  the  world.  Charge  my  people 
in  the  name  of  their  dying  minister,  yea,  in  the 
name  of  Him  who  was  dead  and  is  alive , to 
live  and  walk  as  becomes  the  gospel.  Tell 
them  how  great  the  expectations  of  God  and 
His  people  are  from  them,  and  how  awfully 
they  will  wound  God’s  cause,  if  they  fall  into 
vice;  as  well  as  fatally  prejudice  other  poor 
Indians.  Always  insist  that  their  experiences 
are  rotten , that  their  joys  are  delusive , although 
they  may  have  been  rapt  up  into  the  third 


BRAIN  F.RD’S  JOURNAL.  7 1 

heavens  in  their  own  conceit  by  them,  unless 
the  main  tenor  of  their  lives  be  spiritual, 
watchful,  and  holy.  In  pressing  these  things, 
‘thou  shalt  both  save  thyself  and  those  that 
hear  thee.’ 

God  knows  I was  heartily  willing  to  have 
served  Him  longer  in  the  work  of  the  ministry, 
although  it  had  still  been  attended  with  all 
the  labours  and  hardships  of  past  years,  if  He 
had  seen  fit  that  it  should  be  so:  but  as  His 
w7ill  now7  appears  otherwise,  I am  fully  content, 
andean  with  the  utmost  freedom  say,  ‘The 
will  of  the  Lord  be  done.’  It  affects  me  to 
think  of  leaving  you  in  a world  of  sin;  my  heart 
pities  you,  that  those  storms  and  tempests  are 
yet  before  you,  from  which,  I trust,  through 
grace,  I am  almost  delivered.  But  ‘God  lives, 
and  blessed  be  my  Rock;’  He  is  the  same  al- 
mighty Friend;  and  will,  I trust,  be  your  Guide 
and  Helper,  as  He  has  been  mine. 

And  now,  my  dear  brother,  ‘I  commend  you 
to  God  and  to  the  word  of  His  grace,  which 
is  able  to  build  you  up,  and  give  you  the  inherit- 
ance among  all  them  that  are  sanctified.’  May 
you  enjoy  the  Divine  presence,  both  in  private 
and  public;  and  may  ‘the  arms  of  your  hands 
be  made  strong,  by  the  right  hand  of  the 
mighty  God  of  Jacob!’  Which  are  the  passion- 
ate desires  and  prayers  of 

Your  affectionate  dying  brother, 

David  Brainerd. 

Mr.  Edwards  relates  of  the  days  preced* 
ing  Brainerd’s  death,  among  other  things, 
as  follows: 

“The  extraordinary  frame  he  was  in,  on  the 


7 2 SELECTIONS  FROM 

evening  of  September  19th,  could  not  be  hid. 
His  mouth  spake  out  of  the  abundance  of  his 
heart,  expressing  in  a very  affecting  manner 
much  the  same  things  as  are  written  in  his 
diary.  Among  very  many  other  extraordinary 
expressions,  which  he  then  uttered,  were  such 
as  these:  iMy  heaven  is  to  please  God,  and 

glorify  Him,  and  to  give  all  to  Him,  and  to  be 
wholly  devoted  to  His  glory:  that  is  the  heaven 
I long  for;  that  is  my  religion , and  that  is  my 
happiness , and  always  was  ever  since  I suppose 
I had  any  true  religion:  and  all  those  that  are 
of  thal  religion  shall  meet  me  in  heaven.  I do 
not  go  to  heaven  to  be  advanced,  but  to  give 
honour  to  God.  It  is  no  matter  where  I shall 
be  stationed  in  heaven,  whether  I have  a high 
or  a low  seat  there;  but  to  love,  and  please,  and 
glorify  God  is  all.  Had  I a thousand  souls , if 
they  were  worth  anything,  I would  give  them 
all  to  God;  but  I have  nothing  to  give,  when 
all  is  done.’ 

“Again,  on  September  27th:  K0h,  why  is  His 
chariot  so  long  in  coming?  why  tarry  the  wheels 
of  His  chariot?  I am  very  willing  to  part  with 
all;  I am  very  willing  to  part  with  my  dear 
brother  John,  and  never  see  him  again,  to  go 
to  be  for  ever  with  the  Lord.  Oh,  when  I go 
there,  how  will  God’s  dear  Church  on  earth  be 
upon  my  mind!’ 

“Afterwards,  the  same  morning,  being  asked 
how  he  did,  he  answered,  ‘I  am  almost  in 
eternity.  I long  to  be  there.  My  work  is  done; 
I have  done  with  all  my  friends;  all  the  world 
is  nothing  to  me.  I long  to  be  in  heaven, 
praising  and  glorifying  God  with  the  holy 
angels.  All  my  desire  is  to  glorify  God? 


brainerd’s  journal.  73 

“During  the  whole  of  these  last  two  weeks 
of  his  life,  he  seemed  to  continue  in  this  frame 
of  heart;  loose  from  all  the  world,  as  having 
finished  his  work,  and  done  with  all  things 
here  below. 

“He  said  to  me,  one  morning,  as  I came  into 
his  room:  ‘My  thoughts  have  been  employed 

on  the  old  dear  theme,  the  prosperity  of  God’s 
Church  on  earth.  As  I waked  out  of  sleep,  I 
was  led  to  cry  for  the  pouring  out  of  God’s 
Spirit,  and  the  advancement  of  Christ’s  king- 
dom, for  which  the  Redeemer  did  and  suffered 
so  much.  It  is  that  especially  which  makes 
me  long  for  it.’ 

“He  also  dwelt  much  on  the  great  import- 
ance of  the  work  of  gospel  ministers,  and 
expressed  his  longings,  that  they  might  be 
filled  with  the  Spirit  of  God.  He  manifested 
much  desire  to  see  some  of  the  neighbouring 
ministers,  with  whom  he  had  some  acquaint- 
ance, and  of  whose  sincere  friendship  he  was 
confident,  that  he  might  converse  freely  with 
them  on  that  subject,  before  he  died.  And  it 
so  happened,  that  he  had  opportunity  with 
some  of  them  according  to  his  desire. 

“Another  thing  that  lay  much  on  his  heart, 
from  time  to  time,  in  these  near  approaches  of 
death,  was  the  spiritual  prosperity  of  his  own 
congregation  of  Christian  Indians  in  New 
Jersey:  and  when  he  spake  of  them,  it  was  with 
peculiar  tenderness;  so  that  his  speech  would 
be  presently  interrupted  and  drowned  with 
tears.’’ 

The  following  is  the  closing  passage  of 
Brainerd’s  Diary,  written  just  a week  before 
his  death: 


74  SELECTIONS  FROM 

October  2 , 1747.  My  soul  was  this  day,  at 
turns,  sweetly  set  on  God;  I longed  to  be  with 
Him,  that  I might  behold  His  glory.  I felt 
sweetly  disposed  to  commit  all  to  Him,  even 
my  dearest  friends,  my  dearest  flock,  my  ab- 
sent brother,  and  all  my  concerns  for  time  and 
eternity.  Oh  that  His  kingdom  might  come  in 
the  world;  that  they  might  all  love  and  glorify 
Him,  for  what  he  is  in  Himself ; and  that  the 
blessed  Redeemer  might  see  of  the  travail  of 
His  soul,  and  be  satisfied!  O come,  Lord 
Jesus,  come  quickly  ! Amen. 

Under  date  of  May  22,  of  the  year  before 
his  death,  Brainerd  wrote  thus  in  his  Diary: 

If  ever  my  soul  presented  itself  to  God  for  His 
service,  without  any  reserve  of  any  kind , it 
did  so  now.  The  language  of  my  thoughts  and 
disposition  now  was,  “ Here  lam , Lord,  send 
me;  send  me  to  the  ends  of  the  earth;  se?id  me 
to  the  rough , savage  Pagans  of  the  wilder- 
ness; send  me  from  all  that  is  called  comfort  in 
earth , or  earthly  comfort;  send  me  even  to  death 
itself  \ if  it  be  but  itiThy  service,  and  to  promote 
Thy  kingdom .”  At  the  same  time,  I had  as 
quick  and  lively  a sense  of  the  value  of  worldly 
comforts,  as  I ever  had:  but  only  saw  them  in- 
finitely overmatched  by  the  worth  of  Christ’s 
kingdom,  and  the  propagation  of  His  blessed 
gospel.  A quiet  settlement,  a certain  place 
of  abode,  the  tender  friendships  of  life,  ap- 
peared as  valuable  to  me,  considered  absolutely 
and  in  themselves,  as  ever  before;  but  con- 
sidered comparatively,  they  appeared  nothing. 
Compared  with  the  value  and  preciousness  of 
an  enlargement  of  Christ’s  kingdom,  they  van- 


BRAINERD’S  JOURNAL.  75 

ished  as  stars  before  the  rising  sun.  Sure  I am, 
that  although  the  comfortable  accommoda- 
tions of  life  appeared  valuable  and  clear  to  me, 
yet  I did  surrender  and  resign  myself,  soul  and 
body,  to  the  service  of  God,  and  to  the  promo- 
tion of  Christ’s  kingdom;  though  it  should  be 
in  the  loss  of  them  all.  I could  not  do  any  other, 
because  I could  not  will  or  choose  any  other. 
I was  constrained,  and  yet  chose , to  say,  “Fare- 
well friends,  and  earthly  comforts,  the  dearest 
of  them  all,  the  very  dearest,  if  the  Lord  calls 
for  it.  Adieu,  adieu;  I will  spend  my  life,  to  my 
latest  moments,  in  the  caves  and  dens  of  the 
earth,  if  the  kingdom  of  Christ  may  thereby 
be  advanced. 

I found  extraordinary  freedom  at  this  time 
in  pouring  out  my  soul  to  God  for  His 
cause;  and  especially  that  His  kingdom  might 
be  extended  among  the  Indians,  far  remote; 
and  I had  a great  and  strong  hope  that  God 
would  do  it.  I continued  wrestling  with  God 
in  prayer  for  my  dear  little  flock  here;  and 
more  especially  for  the  Indians  elsewhere;  as 
well  as  for  dear  friends  in  one  place  and  an- 
other until  it  was  bed  time,  and  I feared  I 
should  hinder  the  family.  But  oh,  with  what 
reluctancy  did  I feel  myself  obliged  to  consume 
time  in  sleep!  I longed  to  be  as  a flame  of  fire, 
continually  glowing  in  the  Divine  service,  and 
building  up  Christ’s  kingdom,  to  my  latest,  my 
dying  moment. 


